Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Friday, January 30, 2015
Monday, January 26, 2015
No Pain, No Gain
It's Monday again and my body knows what that means. Oh, for joy, it's time to go to the gym again. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I drag myself out of bed at about 4:45 in the morning to be at the gym by 5:30. Today was especially ugly because I haven't worked out in about two and a half weeks. I truly dread this. Why do I have to go, do I have to? I don't want to go. Well, I'm up now and dressed. I might as well go, besides I don't want to take a ribbing from Denise. Here I go, I'll tell you how it went. Why do I subject myself to this torture? I don't know if it is really worth it.
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I'm back. WOW, do I feel great! My back is not hurting and my body feels energized. I can feel my heart pumping and I kind of have that after workout glow. My legs tingle and my mind is clear. I can't wait until Wednesday! It's time for my coffee and breakfast. Hello day, I am very glad to see you again and I'm ready for whatever you have for me.
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I'm back. WOW, do I feel great! My back is not hurting and my body feels energized. I can feel my heart pumping and I kind of have that after workout glow. My legs tingle and my mind is clear. I can't wait until Wednesday! It's time for my coffee and breakfast. Hello day, I am very glad to see you again and I'm ready for whatever you have for me.
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| Nope, not for breakfast today! Hi Poland, It's good to see you back. The video is for those of you who are stuck in the snow of the Frozen North or wherever it is snowing. |
Monday, January 19, 2015
Who Moved My Cheese--I Mean Coffee?
I must say this right off the bat. If you are the author of "Who Moved My Cheese" please don't sue me for using your title. It wouldn't be advantageous to you to sue me as I wouldn't have the riches to pay off any sort of judgments anyway. I am just a poor retired teacher and starving writer. Maybe my wife could pay the settlement costs back in piano lessons, but I would have to do some heavy talking to get her to do that. I did read your book by the way and found it insightful.
Everything is out of the old house and over here into the new house or has been placed in storage. The physical move is over but we are overwhelmed with a sea full of boxes. You have to wonder, What did we leave in storage that we should have brought over here and what is over here that really should be in storage? I can tell you right now one important thing we took to storage, my coffee. Who did that? Who is responsible for misplacing the makings of the fluid that keeps life going? I personally brought over that hot chocolate mix that is supposed to cure my ADHD, but what about my coffee. I was sick and couldn't monitor the situation. Wouldn't you know it somebody dropped the ball. Where is my coffee? Who moved my coffee and where did you put it?
I can put up with my clothes and underwear being misplaced. Don't worry, I won't go into the details of that. I can even go having my golf clubs in the wrong place, at least not for long. My coffee is a different story. WHO MOVED MY COFFEE AND WHERE DID YOU PUT IT!!!!!!!
Everything is out of the old house and over here into the new house or has been placed in storage. The physical move is over but we are overwhelmed with a sea full of boxes. You have to wonder, What did we leave in storage that we should have brought over here and what is over here that really should be in storage? I can tell you right now one important thing we took to storage, my coffee. Who did that? Who is responsible for misplacing the makings of the fluid that keeps life going? I personally brought over that hot chocolate mix that is supposed to cure my ADHD, but what about my coffee. I was sick and couldn't monitor the situation. Wouldn't you know it somebody dropped the ball. Where is my coffee? Who moved my coffee and where did you put it?
I can put up with my clothes and underwear being misplaced. Don't worry, I won't go into the details of that. I can even go having my golf clubs in the wrong place, at least not for long. My coffee is a different story. WHO MOVED MY COFFEE AND WHERE DID YOU PUT IT!!!!!!!
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| In Happier Times |
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Things That Go Bump In The Night.
We are moved! We give the keys to the old house back to our former landlords today and then we are finished. Out with the old and in with the new. Now we turn the page and delve into a new chapter in our lives. That sounds poetic, doesn't it? It's not that new, we just moved into a new house not far from where we used to live. We are not moving to Outer Mongolia to become missionaries to the Bondag tribe who don't even speak English. The people who's house we are moving into are doing that for a year. Nope, we are just moving a few miles away from where we were living.
Moving into a new house is always a fun experience. There is always excitement for anything new. It does have its problems though. You have to remember that I suffer for a pretty good case of ADHD. I am not good at change. I have bumped that dad gum curio with the nicknacs at least 100 times. So has Denise. Do I turn right at the hall to go to the bathroom and left for the hall closet, or is it the other way around? You could just imagine the problems that could cause.
Nights have been especially fun. My brain isn't quite used to the new floor plan. I am not going to mention a very important thing that happens to a sixty year old man in the middle of the night. Those of you who are men and over sixty know what I am talking about. There should be a door here somewhere. Nope, It's a wall...BANG! Where is that bathroom door?
As I said, we are finished moving out of the old house. Now on to the next fun thing. We have to unpack. I guess I can find cheer in the fact that we aren't going to move soon, at least until the house owners get back in a year. This is kind of like shampooing your hair--rinse and repeat.
Moving into a new house is always a fun experience. There is always excitement for anything new. It does have its problems though. You have to remember that I suffer for a pretty good case of ADHD. I am not good at change. I have bumped that dad gum curio with the nicknacs at least 100 times. So has Denise. Do I turn right at the hall to go to the bathroom and left for the hall closet, or is it the other way around? You could just imagine the problems that could cause.
Nights have been especially fun. My brain isn't quite used to the new floor plan. I am not going to mention a very important thing that happens to a sixty year old man in the middle of the night. Those of you who are men and over sixty know what I am talking about. There should be a door here somewhere. Nope, It's a wall...BANG! Where is that bathroom door?
As I said, we are finished moving out of the old house. Now on to the next fun thing. We have to unpack. I guess I can find cheer in the fact that we aren't going to move soon, at least until the house owners get back in a year. This is kind of like shampooing your hair--rinse and repeat.
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| I guess you are wondering what a C-47 has to do with moving into a new house. Well, the C-47 moved a lot of cargo during WWII and beyond. I know that's a stretch, but it will have to do. |
Thursday, January 15, 2015
A Moving Experience--Part 6 ( The Oh No, Can't You Write About Something Else Edition)
This is it folks, the final assault. There is still materiel and some other odds and ends at the old house, but these have to be out or at least off the carpet by tomorrow. The carpet cleaners are coming to nuc the carpet tomorrow and the house detailer is coming on Saturday. Everything must be out by tomorrow, or at least off the carpets.
Wish us luck, this may get ugly. We shall prevail!
Wish us luck, this may get ugly. We shall prevail!
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| What the inside of the old house looks like right now. On to the final assault hopefully with no casualties. I pity the carpet cleaners. |
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
A Moving Experience--Part 5 And I Hope The Last
OK, so I'm being a bit overly optimistic That this will be the last in the "Moving Experience" post strand. We still are not totally moved. If I were to say that we are almost moved, I would be stretching the truth. Today is going to be a big day though. Most of the big stuff is out and my office is up and running in the new house, but we still have a ways to go.
I have been sick. Today I actually feel a lot better and can be effective in helping "The General" out in the move. She has to work, so I am going to the house to facilitate the move. My role today will be much more active than it has been the past few days.
Speaking about being sick, this was not a pleasant experience. It was the kind of sick that you feel terrible, but not bad enough to go to the hospital. However, if you don't stop what you are doing and rest it hangs on forever. I never ran a fever but I ached all over and was bestowed upon the pleasure of a sore throat and ugly cough. My body ached and told me many times that I had to stop immediately what I was doing and quickly go to a slumber state.
Yesterday I was feeling a bit better so I ran some errands with "The General" that needed to be done. When I get a cold or the flu, I don't take anything for it as I don't want to artificially interfere with my body's immunity system. I sit--or lay down in most cases--and suffer the symptoms. What was weird about running errands with "The General" was that I was in a total state of "slow". Keep in mind that I was not medicated.
Things were going so slow that they were almost going backward. I actually could see the words coming out of "The General's" mouth. Here is a sample of what that looked like, and no I wasn't smoking anything or taken any controlled substances. "S--O, H--O--W A--R--E Y--O--U F--E--E--L--I--N--G T--O--D--A--Y, D--E--A--R? (So how are you feeling today, dear?) Honestly, that is how it looked. You can just imaging how long it took me to translate the messages she was sending. They were simple messages too. It was almost as if I needed to take out my C.I.A. (since declassified) spy code book and decipher the message. Even then, I couldn't find the book--they had changed the code on me and didn't tell me after I found the book so I had to make some educated guesses. You can imagine how that went.
I feel much better. It's off to do battle in the theater of the old house. Yes, we are working on the move today. Big day today as the person that is coming to clean the house and the carpet cleaner is coming as well.
I have been sick. Today I actually feel a lot better and can be effective in helping "The General" out in the move. She has to work, so I am going to the house to facilitate the move. My role today will be much more active than it has been the past few days.
Speaking about being sick, this was not a pleasant experience. It was the kind of sick that you feel terrible, but not bad enough to go to the hospital. However, if you don't stop what you are doing and rest it hangs on forever. I never ran a fever but I ached all over and was bestowed upon the pleasure of a sore throat and ugly cough. My body ached and told me many times that I had to stop immediately what I was doing and quickly go to a slumber state.
Yesterday I was feeling a bit better so I ran some errands with "The General" that needed to be done. When I get a cold or the flu, I don't take anything for it as I don't want to artificially interfere with my body's immunity system. I sit--or lay down in most cases--and suffer the symptoms. What was weird about running errands with "The General" was that I was in a total state of "slow". Keep in mind that I was not medicated.
Things were going so slow that they were almost going backward. I actually could see the words coming out of "The General's" mouth. Here is a sample of what that looked like, and no I wasn't smoking anything or taken any controlled substances. "S--O, H--O--W A--R--E Y--O--U F--E--E--L--I--N--G T--O--D--A--Y, D--E--A--R? (So how are you feeling today, dear?) Honestly, that is how it looked. You can just imaging how long it took me to translate the messages she was sending. They were simple messages too. It was almost as if I needed to take out my C.I.A. (since declassified) spy code book and decipher the message. Even then, I couldn't find the book--they had changed the code on me and didn't tell me after I found the book so I had to make some educated guesses. You can imagine how that went.
I feel much better. It's off to do battle in the theater of the old house. Yes, we are working on the move today. Big day today as the person that is coming to clean the house and the carpet cleaner is coming as well.
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| My nurse. She is very nice, just a little bit stiff. I noticed that she doesn't talk much though. |
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
A Moving Experience--Part 4
Are we totally moved in yet--No. We are working on it. The big problem is that I have been sick as a dog the past few days and I haven't been much help on the move. I have that "Creepin Crud" that a lot of people have come down with. I hope that I get over it soon because "The General" needs her sergeant.
The permanent command center has been established. I am communicating to you from there now. It has not been totally equipped and branded yet but it is up and running. My staff has arrived and we are ready to go. King Kong and White Elephant say hello to you. They are at their posts and are ready to fulfill their duty. What are their duties, by the way? One is a bit stiff and the other is stuffed, but don't tell them I said that. They have been loyal.
It really is great to be in this location. I have given up some very important perks, but that is the nature of the mission. This communication center is much smaller and does not have the room that the other location did. Those are the sacrifices you have to make.
What mission, you say? I don't think there is one, I just had to write something and that sounded good at the moment.
The permanent command center has been established. I am communicating to you from there now. It has not been totally equipped and branded yet but it is up and running. My staff has arrived and we are ready to go. King Kong and White Elephant say hello to you. They are at their posts and are ready to fulfill their duty. What are their duties, by the way? One is a bit stiff and the other is stuffed, but don't tell them I said that. They have been loyal.
It really is great to be in this location. I have given up some very important perks, but that is the nature of the mission. This communication center is much smaller and does not have the room that the other location did. Those are the sacrifices you have to make.
What mission, you say? I don't think there is one, I just had to write something and that sounded good at the moment.
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| Our new field command center. |
Friday, January 9, 2015
A Moving Experience--Part 3
Illness has struck the camp. The general had a bout with the bug a week ago, but is healthy. I have contracted that bug. With conditions as primitive as they are here at our rudimentary camp in the secret classified location, I hope that it won't have me in its grips for long. I guess I will martial the troops an launch today's assault.
Let's get this show on the road! Forward, hoa!
Let's get this show on the road! Forward, hoa!
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| A look at the secret location bunker area. I'm waving at you, can you see me. Oh, that's right. I have my camouflage on. |
Thursday, January 8, 2015
A Moving Experience-- Star Date Supplemental
I always was a fan of Star Trek.. I used to love it when Kirk, Picard or for that matter any of the other Captains were always in a jam and could not make an entry in their Captain's log. They would say, " Captain's log, stardate supplemental." That to me was the height of cool. I thought that if they could
do it, so could I. Here it goes, Dave's blog-stardate supplemental.
I am in a classified location writing this. We are in the middle of the move and things are going well. This location is undisclosed because of the sensitive nature of the move. It is not sensitive to the security of the country but it is still sensitive and I can't explain because that information too is classified.
I have successes to report that have been declassified so I can share that limited information with you. The garage is pretty much moved, which is a big thing. We had to sweep it for mines--er, uh black widow spiders--so the task was very extensive and exhaustive. That bit is don and the materiel contained in the garage has been relocated to the storage bunker. Today's assault will be--oh, wait a minute I can't tell you that. That is part of the classified operations order.
Here is what I can tell you. Objectives have been set and we have brought up the necessary troop units and mechanized units. That Volkswagen missed the general by about six inches by the way. Troop movements are a very dangerous undertaking. The reserves are in place so we are ready to go. As information is available and declassified, I will release it so that you may have an update.
Due to the nature of this operation, it is unknown whether or not I will publish. I know I said yesterday that I wouldn't today, but I was able to secure a communication device. I'll keep you posted.
From the field
Dave
I am in a classified location writing this. We are in the middle of the move and things are going well. This location is undisclosed because of the sensitive nature of the move. It is not sensitive to the security of the country but it is still sensitive and I can't explain because that information too is classified.
I have successes to report that have been declassified so I can share that limited information with you. The garage is pretty much moved, which is a big thing. We had to sweep it for mines--er, uh black widow spiders--so the task was very extensive and exhaustive. That bit is don and the materiel contained in the garage has been relocated to the storage bunker. Today's assault will be--oh, wait a minute I can't tell you that. That is part of the classified operations order.
Here is what I can tell you. Objectives have been set and we have brought up the necessary troop units and mechanized units. That Volkswagen missed the general by about six inches by the way. Troop movements are a very dangerous undertaking. The reserves are in place so we are ready to go. As information is available and declassified, I will release it so that you may have an update.
Due to the nature of this operation, it is unknown whether or not I will publish. I know I said yesterday that I wouldn't today, but I was able to secure a communication device. I'll keep you posted.
From the field
Dave
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| Staging area of the secret, undisclosed location. The troops are ready to roll. |
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
A Moving Experience--Part 2
Can't write now, I'm moving. This will be my last post from this location. Hopefully, like a phoenix rising out of the ashes I will post form our new home--Maybe, maybe not. Who knows what will happen. You can rest assured that I will get this move completed, coffee cups and all. The golf clubs are already in the trunk and ready to go. God bless, and we will see you on the other side.
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| From... |
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
A Truly Moving Experience--Not New Year's Day Holiday
Well, the time is truly here. We have put it off thinking that it was a dream or that we were caught in a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. Have you ever watched one of those--that and the Lifetime Network. When they put the definition of "Chick Flick" in the dictionary, they have a schedule of movies that will be appearing on Lifetime or Hallmark. I am not going to admit it that I am hooked, but that's what we watch here in the Rallis house. That's kind of off the subject, I know and I guess the old ADHD is kicking in. What I really want to point out is that the move is here. I DON'T WANT TO MOVE! Too bad sucker, you're movin.
We are not packed and we have to be out of here by Saturday. My beloved came in this morning before she went to work and told me she doesn't know if we are going to make it all out by then. To this point, she has been the one kind of in charge of the whole thing. As of 08:00 today, that is going to change. The private (me) is going to take personal initiative and take the hill. This thing is going to get done, and soon--like today. Get out of the way, general!
I know what has to be done. I have been taking this stuff Jovita which is supposed to make me more focused and decisive. I think it is working. It is going to get done, and starting now. I have the battle plan all laid out, and if the general gets in the way, she may get run over by an A-1 tank--maybe not an A-1 tank as we can't afford the tank but how about a Bradley Fighting Vehicle? We can't afford that either. How about our neighbor's 1970 Volkswagen. That is more a possibility.
FORWARD, MARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are not packed and we have to be out of here by Saturday. My beloved came in this morning before she went to work and told me she doesn't know if we are going to make it all out by then. To this point, she has been the one kind of in charge of the whole thing. As of 08:00 today, that is going to change. The private (me) is going to take personal initiative and take the hill. This thing is going to get done, and soon--like today. Get out of the way, general!
I know what has to be done. I have been taking this stuff Jovita which is supposed to make me more focused and decisive. I think it is working. It is going to get done, and starting now. I have the battle plan all laid out, and if the general gets in the way, she may get run over by an A-1 tank--maybe not an A-1 tank as we can't afford the tank but how about a Bradley Fighting Vehicle? We can't afford that either. How about our neighbor's 1970 Volkswagen. That is more a possibility.
FORWARD, MARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Third move in three years. I'm buying stock in U-Haul. |
Monday, January 5, 2015
Did Somebody Loose Something?
Has someone misplaced somethings these past few days? I have to say that I have found them for you. I am such a nice guy that I am going to keep them for a while and take care of them, but I want you to come get them as soon as you can. I really don't want them.
Take a look around you and see what is not there but was there a week ago. I don't know who you are, and I know that it has to be only one person. Please come and reclaim your property. I'm talking about the eight pounds that found me over the Christmas/New Year's Holiday. I went to the gym this morning and there they were, lost like little children and clinging to me. They got on the scale with me, all eight of them. I love you little guys, but go back to your owner, please. It was hard enough to return the other seventy pounds I lost to the person who lost them the last time I lost pounds that had come to live with me.
I think it was Quincy that lost those pounds. He looked a lot thinner this morning when I saw him at the gym. Quincy is always running and working out. I did see what looked like a bit of extra meat on his bones last week before New Year's Day. Today he looked much leaner. I think he gave me a New Year's gift of eight pounds. Thanks a lot, Quincy. Come and reclaim your pounds so they may return to their rightful owner and home.
Maybe it wasn't Quincy. Whoever you are, come and get these extra pounds. I can only take care of them for a very short time.
Take a look around you and see what is not there but was there a week ago. I don't know who you are, and I know that it has to be only one person. Please come and reclaim your property. I'm talking about the eight pounds that found me over the Christmas/New Year's Holiday. I went to the gym this morning and there they were, lost like little children and clinging to me. They got on the scale with me, all eight of them. I love you little guys, but go back to your owner, please. It was hard enough to return the other seventy pounds I lost to the person who lost them the last time I lost pounds that had come to live with me.
I think it was Quincy that lost those pounds. He looked a lot thinner this morning when I saw him at the gym. Quincy is always running and working out. I did see what looked like a bit of extra meat on his bones last week before New Year's Day. Today he looked much leaner. I think he gave me a New Year's gift of eight pounds. Thanks a lot, Quincy. Come and reclaim your pounds so they may return to their rightful owner and home.
Maybe it wasn't Quincy. Whoever you are, come and get these extra pounds. I can only take care of them for a very short time.
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| Forbidden Fruit. Honey, why did you buy those doughnuts? |
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
New Year's Holiday--Truly A Moving Experience
I suppose that I could get all teary eyed over another year being completed, but I won't. It was kind of a strange year. I'm not going to go into the events of the year which had its ups and downs. Looking back it could be said that the year was a challenge in many ways but all in all it wasn't bad. Don't worry, I am not going to summarize the events of the year, but I will say that 2015 will be a moving year--literally.
Come to think of it, 2014 was a moving year as well. It seems 2016 will also be a moving year. I don't like to move, but that's just the way it is sort of turning out. This is going to be the third move I will be making in the last two years. We are going to have to move again in 2016 as we are house sitting for a couple who will be out of the country for a year. Honestly, I truly thank them for going for a year but I don't look forward to looking for a place to live once again in 2016. I pray that that move will be permanent.
It can be said that rolling stones gather no moss. I must admit that I do hate yard work and round-up is my friend when it comes to weeds. However, in the house we lived in for almost thirty-three years that I shared with my children and that woman--my ex--we did grow some things. We grew tomatoes and had a couple of orange trees. I left that house for an apartment after the catastrophic event--divorce. Happiness abounded at the apartment because I had no yard to take care of and I was living alone for a whole. I did have a back yard, sort of, and would keep the weeds down by spraying round-up everywhere.
I married again, to a wonderful woman I might add. Of course, I moved out of the apartment and into a house together with my new bride. We had trees there, but they were there when we moved in. The house was a rental, so you couldn't really count them as ours. After less than a year at this address, my wife got a job in another city, so we moved again.
We really like the place we are in now. We almost like it too much, so we are moving. This place has trees, fruit trees. There is a peach tree, a cherry tree, a couple of apple trees, orange trees and a persimmon tree--I hate persimmons. But, they are still not our trees, but those of the landowner. This was a nice place, and we are sad to have to move. When you look at it philosophically, at least we are not being kicked out. That's a good thing, but it makes the whole move a bit bittersweet.
So, on we go to other adventures and a new address. This move is done by choice, not out of necessity. It will be a very interesting new year.
I want to wish all my readers A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! Stay safe.
Come to think of it, 2014 was a moving year as well. It seems 2016 will also be a moving year. I don't like to move, but that's just the way it is sort of turning out. This is going to be the third move I will be making in the last two years. We are going to have to move again in 2016 as we are house sitting for a couple who will be out of the country for a year. Honestly, I truly thank them for going for a year but I don't look forward to looking for a place to live once again in 2016. I pray that that move will be permanent.
It can be said that rolling stones gather no moss. I must admit that I do hate yard work and round-up is my friend when it comes to weeds. However, in the house we lived in for almost thirty-three years that I shared with my children and that woman--my ex--we did grow some things. We grew tomatoes and had a couple of orange trees. I left that house for an apartment after the catastrophic event--divorce. Happiness abounded at the apartment because I had no yard to take care of and I was living alone for a whole. I did have a back yard, sort of, and would keep the weeds down by spraying round-up everywhere.
I married again, to a wonderful woman I might add. Of course, I moved out of the apartment and into a house together with my new bride. We had trees there, but they were there when we moved in. The house was a rental, so you couldn't really count them as ours. After less than a year at this address, my wife got a job in another city, so we moved again.
We really like the place we are in now. We almost like it too much, so we are moving. This place has trees, fruit trees. There is a peach tree, a cherry tree, a couple of apple trees, orange trees and a persimmon tree--I hate persimmons. But, they are still not our trees, but those of the landowner. This was a nice place, and we are sad to have to move. When you look at it philosophically, at least we are not being kicked out. That's a good thing, but it makes the whole move a bit bittersweet.
So, on we go to other adventures and a new address. This move is done by choice, not out of necessity. It will be a very interesting new year.
I want to wish all my readers A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! Stay safe.
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| Yep, we are moving again making 2015 another moving experience. Same city though. |
Monday, December 29, 2014
Press To Start--Part 2 ( I Promise)
I have a problem with new cars and technology, especially at 5:30 in the morning when you want to go to the gym and have not had your coffee yet. All this is explained in Part 1 so I please go there now and read Part 1 if you haven't already done so. I'm sorry I had to give this to you in two parts, but I got tired and had to make coffee. In a nutshell, we rented a car and I was granted permission from my wife to drive it to the gym.
Why is it that the good old car key is no longer in fashion? It is a trusty little tool and can be put to use in a number of ways, not just starting the car. I use mine for cutting string. Let's face it, the things come in handy, but the car we rented had a keyless entry/operation system. It had "The Orb". Aliens had come during the night an had taken the keys and left "The Orb". What had I done to offend those good people on the home planet and why did they take the key to the rental car?.
What do I do with this "Orb". It has symbols on it, but what do they mean. Where's my trusty spy decoder ring that I got in that box of Froot Loops back in 1969? I didn't think that I would ever have to use it, but it was worth a try. Let's see, what does this symbol mean--oh yes unlock. This symbol means lock. I think I've got it. The time has come to tackle my fears of technology and try to drive the rental car. I can do this. It was time to go outside and become the master of the rental car, so I did.
There it was, sitting in the driveway, nice and shiny. That was a stupid sentence. Where else would it be, at the city dump? Of course it is sitting in our driveway nice, new and shiny. It's a brand new rental car, which you can't fit in in your garage because the Taurus is in there and all the junk you are storing for everyone else in the world. Yes, you do detect a bit of anger in my voice, but I just don't want to talk about that. Sorry I'm off subject again, back to my car rental story.
After decoding the symbols on "The Orb" I went outside to the car and pressed the button that said "unlock". I heard the click of the door lock engaging and I was cleared by the car gods to enter the car. I opened the door and immediately that new car smell hit me. The interior was beautiful and what can I say, new. It had leather seats and all the options you could think of. The leather seats reminded me of that Chrysler Cordoba commercial that ran in the 1970's where Ricardo Maltaban says "Feel the rich, Corinthinan Leather" when he talked about the interior. What is "Rich Corinthian Leather" anyway. The smell was wonderful, but it was time to get in and I was almost late for my workout.
It was a sensory thrill when I finally sat in the car behind the wheel. I wondered to myself what it was going to be like to drive this puppy. I was ready. I didn't have to put a key in the ignition, there was no ignition. What there was though was a button that said in red "Push To Start". It was time, so I pushed the button. The car came alive, all the dials and gauges lit up. I thought I was in the space shuttle and about to launch. Oh, that's right. The space shuttle no longer exists. Maybe I was in a Soyuz capsule, but I couldn't be because everything was in English, not Russian. Through all of this, the car DID NOT start.
Let's press the pretty red button again. It says on it "Press To Start". I pressed it again and guess what, NOTHING! What am I doing wrong? I pressed the button again and nothing. I had pretty lights on the dash of the gauges and such, but the thing didn't start. Let's try it again. The thing wouldn't start and I was getting a bit upset. At this point I was very late for my workout, so I said the heck with this, locked the car with "The Orb" and went back inside to get the keys to the Taurus. Remember, I said keys.
I opened the garage door, unlocked the door to the Taurus USING THE KEYS and got in. I put the KEY in the IGNITION and she started right up. I backed out of the garage, closed the garage door and off to my workout I went.
What do you mean I have to have my foot on the brake in the rental car before I press the pretty "start" button for it to start?
Why is it that the good old car key is no longer in fashion? It is a trusty little tool and can be put to use in a number of ways, not just starting the car. I use mine for cutting string. Let's face it, the things come in handy, but the car we rented had a keyless entry/operation system. It had "The Orb". Aliens had come during the night an had taken the keys and left "The Orb". What had I done to offend those good people on the home planet and why did they take the key to the rental car?.
What do I do with this "Orb". It has symbols on it, but what do they mean. Where's my trusty spy decoder ring that I got in that box of Froot Loops back in 1969? I didn't think that I would ever have to use it, but it was worth a try. Let's see, what does this symbol mean--oh yes unlock. This symbol means lock. I think I've got it. The time has come to tackle my fears of technology and try to drive the rental car. I can do this. It was time to go outside and become the master of the rental car, so I did.
There it was, sitting in the driveway, nice and shiny. That was a stupid sentence. Where else would it be, at the city dump? Of course it is sitting in our driveway nice, new and shiny. It's a brand new rental car, which you can't fit in in your garage because the Taurus is in there and all the junk you are storing for everyone else in the world. Yes, you do detect a bit of anger in my voice, but I just don't want to talk about that. Sorry I'm off subject again, back to my car rental story.
After decoding the symbols on "The Orb" I went outside to the car and pressed the button that said "unlock". I heard the click of the door lock engaging and I was cleared by the car gods to enter the car. I opened the door and immediately that new car smell hit me. The interior was beautiful and what can I say, new. It had leather seats and all the options you could think of. The leather seats reminded me of that Chrysler Cordoba commercial that ran in the 1970's where Ricardo Maltaban says "Feel the rich, Corinthinan Leather" when he talked about the interior. What is "Rich Corinthian Leather" anyway. The smell was wonderful, but it was time to get in and I was almost late for my workout.
It was a sensory thrill when I finally sat in the car behind the wheel. I wondered to myself what it was going to be like to drive this puppy. I was ready. I didn't have to put a key in the ignition, there was no ignition. What there was though was a button that said in red "Push To Start". It was time, so I pushed the button. The car came alive, all the dials and gauges lit up. I thought I was in the space shuttle and about to launch. Oh, that's right. The space shuttle no longer exists. Maybe I was in a Soyuz capsule, but I couldn't be because everything was in English, not Russian. Through all of this, the car DID NOT start.
Let's press the pretty red button again. It says on it "Press To Start". I pressed it again and guess what, NOTHING! What am I doing wrong? I pressed the button again and nothing. I had pretty lights on the dash of the gauges and such, but the thing didn't start. Let's try it again. The thing wouldn't start and I was getting a bit upset. At this point I was very late for my workout, so I said the heck with this, locked the car with "The Orb" and went back inside to get the keys to the Taurus. Remember, I said keys.
I opened the garage door, unlocked the door to the Taurus USING THE KEYS and got in. I put the KEY in the IGNITION and she started right up. I backed out of the garage, closed the garage door and off to my workout I went.
What do you mean I have to have my foot on the brake in the rental car before I press the pretty "start" button for it to start?
 |
| My 350Z had a key. I miss that car. |
Friday, December 26, 2014
Many Happy Returns
'Twas the day after Christmas and all though the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. They had all gone to the mall to return their Christmas gifts for a different size or something they really wanted. I found myself in the same boat. Unfortunately, my lump of coal had a great big crack in it which would have caused it to break into pieces. I needed to return the black piece of million year decomposed dinosaur for a new one that was not defective. Where do you return a lump of coal?
My first thought was to try Wal Mart. They pretty much have everything. So I got up and braved the cold California December morning--temperatures were in the low 50's--and attempted to return the defective coal. I went into the store and discovered I was not the only one to have this idea. The line for "Returns" was out the door and wound its way three times around the building. I'm not talking about just a regular Wal Mart either. This was a super-duper mega huge Wal Mart. I think the line was long enough to start in Los Angeles and follow I-5 all the way down to San Diego. It was then that I decided that returning that valued lump of coal may not be the best investment of my time today.
As I was leaving, it struck me. I thought it was a truck at the time but it actually was an idea. Why don't I get in line and then make a sign that said that I would give up my place in line for $100. Sounds like a wonderful idea, doesn't it? I thought so.
This had a couple of advantages. First, if someone wanted my place in line as I got closer to the front of the line, I would make some cash for just waiting in line, return the coal some other day and make $100 in the bargain. If nobody wanted my place, I could still exchange my lump of coal for a new one--at least I hoped that Wal Mart carried coal. This was truly a win-win situation. There I was, standing in line at Wal Mart carrying a sign that said "Will Give Up My Place In Line For $100".
I got a lot of comments about my sign, but no takers. I had to explain many times that I was not crazy even though those of you who know me know the truth about that statement. Many though it was a wonderful idea, but I had no takers. The line kept moving forward and I was getting closer to the front of the line. Surely I would have a taker soon.
That was not to be. There were no takers. After thinking about it, I decided I knew why. I was at Wal Mart for goodness sake and no one going to Wal Mart would ever pay full price retail. I decided to drop the price to $29.95 and see what happened. NOTHING!
There was good news and bad news to this. The bad news was that even at $29.95 there were no takers on my offer. I refused to discount my pricing as I was getting close to my profit margin evaporating. The good news was that I was getting closer to the front of the line and very soon I was there. My idea had not taken flight and actually was shot down by market forces that just didn't want my product or service. I did take heart though because as I was pondering my huge entrepreneurial failure I found my self at the front of the line.
I felt very much uplifted when the Wal Mart associate behind the returns counter finally said, "I can help the next person in line." I was there.
"I would like to return this lump of coal, please." I said very politely.
"I'm sorry, but we don't carry coal sir." she said calmly.
At that point, I decided to keep the lump of coal. It did have character with its huge crack in the middle of the lump and learning a very important lesson on my entrepreneurial skills. After all, the lump of coal
was given to me as a special Christmas gift with love from someone special. Thank you my dear wife for the very loving thought and gift.
My first thought was to try Wal Mart. They pretty much have everything. So I got up and braved the cold California December morning--temperatures were in the low 50's--and attempted to return the defective coal. I went into the store and discovered I was not the only one to have this idea. The line for "Returns" was out the door and wound its way three times around the building. I'm not talking about just a regular Wal Mart either. This was a super-duper mega huge Wal Mart. I think the line was long enough to start in Los Angeles and follow I-5 all the way down to San Diego. It was then that I decided that returning that valued lump of coal may not be the best investment of my time today.
As I was leaving, it struck me. I thought it was a truck at the time but it actually was an idea. Why don't I get in line and then make a sign that said that I would give up my place in line for $100. Sounds like a wonderful idea, doesn't it? I thought so.
This had a couple of advantages. First, if someone wanted my place in line as I got closer to the front of the line, I would make some cash for just waiting in line, return the coal some other day and make $100 in the bargain. If nobody wanted my place, I could still exchange my lump of coal for a new one--at least I hoped that Wal Mart carried coal. This was truly a win-win situation. There I was, standing in line at Wal Mart carrying a sign that said "Will Give Up My Place In Line For $100".
I got a lot of comments about my sign, but no takers. I had to explain many times that I was not crazy even though those of you who know me know the truth about that statement. Many though it was a wonderful idea, but I had no takers. The line kept moving forward and I was getting closer to the front of the line. Surely I would have a taker soon.
That was not to be. There were no takers. After thinking about it, I decided I knew why. I was at Wal Mart for goodness sake and no one going to Wal Mart would ever pay full price retail. I decided to drop the price to $29.95 and see what happened. NOTHING!
There was good news and bad news to this. The bad news was that even at $29.95 there were no takers on my offer. I refused to discount my pricing as I was getting close to my profit margin evaporating. The good news was that I was getting closer to the front of the line and very soon I was there. My idea had not taken flight and actually was shot down by market forces that just didn't want my product or service. I did take heart though because as I was pondering my huge entrepreneurial failure I found my self at the front of the line.
I felt very much uplifted when the Wal Mart associate behind the returns counter finally said, "I can help the next person in line." I was there.
"I would like to return this lump of coal, please." I said very politely.
"I'm sorry, but we don't carry coal sir." she said calmly.
At that point, I decided to keep the lump of coal. It did have character with its huge crack in the middle of the lump and learning a very important lesson on my entrepreneurial skills. After all, the lump of coal
was given to me as a special Christmas gift with love from someone special. Thank you my dear wife for the very loving thought and gift.
 |
| Does Home Depot sell coal? |
Thursday, December 25, 2014
It's Just That Simple
Today's post is very simple. I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. May peace and prosperity find your lives. Please be safe whether you are traveling or just staying at home having your Christmas Feast with family and friends. Should you find yourself alone, you are truly never alone. God Bless!
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| Merry Christmas to you all! God Bless. |
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Press To Start--Part 2 (Not Quite Yet)
This was supposed to be Press To Start--Part 2, but that is not going to happen today. Today has been one of those days, given that it is Christmas Eve. Let's just say that it has been one busy day and I was supposed to have written this about five hours ago. Between the "honey do's" and company and other things that you do to get ready for Christmas Day, it has been one interruption after another.
Don't worry though, the stuff I was going to write down is still bouncing around in my brain. You remember the superball in the metal room don't you. Remember, that superball has to come out and it will probably on Friday. It is Christmas Eve after all and you just have to be patient my child. Thank you France and Poland I miss you.
To all of you, I want to wish you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Don't worry though, the stuff I was going to write down is still bouncing around in my brain. You remember the superball in the metal room don't you. Remember, that superball has to come out and it will probably on Friday. It is Christmas Eve after all and you just have to be patient my child. Thank you France and Poland I miss you.
To all of you, I want to wish you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!
 |
| You might have been expecting some sort of Holiday picture, but unfortunately I don't have one. I hope to be kicking back soon to get ready for tomorrow's festivities but that's not going to happen for a while. |
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Press To Start--Part 1
No it wont. I guess I should explain that comment. One thing you have to realize though is that we have a house guest and I haven't been able to grind my coffee to make it this morning so bear with me. I also could say bare with me but that would be too scary. I can't believe I just said that. Oh well, remember I haven't had my coffee yet.
Denise and I only have one car. We believe that the environment is sacred and to have two cars is not respecting the harmonious balance of nature. Another thing is to have two cars, let alone one, is an insult to those who are less privileged around the world and don't have a car. Just think of all the pollution a second car belches out and throws into the pristine air we breathe. We choose to protect that air. That sure sounded good, didn't it? It's totally a bunch of baloney, but what the heck. The bottom line is we only have one car and if we both have somewhere to be we have to borrow or rent one.
We rented a car for Denise yesterday because I had to go to an event in Fresno and she needed a car. It was a brand new Nissan Altima with all the bells and whistles. It had electronic and computerized everything.
In fact, I kind of get annoyed with how the new cars ding at you and that pretty voice keeps telling you what a stupid thing you just did with the car. It is kind of like the gal that talks on the GPS monitor giving you directions. That's another story and I will get back to what I was going to say. The old ADHD is kicking in again. At any rate, we rented the car for the day. Denise drove the rental and I drove the Taurus to Fresno. Tomorrow was Tuesday and this week Tuesday meant gym day. Denise said that I could take the rental because I was also on the contract, so what the heck. I was filled with a great expectation that I was going to try the spiffy new piece of road hardware out. I knew that it had all the bells, whistles, and hot and cold running door knobs with everything being electronic and computerized. I think that was the problem. Those two little words electronic and computerized are supposed to make our lives easier--not mine. Needless to say, I was excited that I was going to drive this new example of modern technology. The car had other ideas.
When I grabbed the keys to go to the gym this morning I knew something just was not as it should be. That sort of feeling can spell disaster, especially at 4:30 in the morning BC--Before Coffee. When I grabbed the keys to go out to the car, there was no key. There were no keys on the key ring, just these small oblong orbs that had symbols on them. Had aliens come during the middle of the night and played a trick on me by stealing the keys and leaving these orbs? What did the symbols mean?
Denise and I only have one car. We believe that the environment is sacred and to have two cars is not respecting the harmonious balance of nature. Another thing is to have two cars, let alone one, is an insult to those who are less privileged around the world and don't have a car. Just think of all the pollution a second car belches out and throws into the pristine air we breathe. We choose to protect that air. That sure sounded good, didn't it? It's totally a bunch of baloney, but what the heck. The bottom line is we only have one car and if we both have somewhere to be we have to borrow or rent one.
We rented a car for Denise yesterday because I had to go to an event in Fresno and she needed a car. It was a brand new Nissan Altima with all the bells and whistles. It had electronic and computerized everything.
In fact, I kind of get annoyed with how the new cars ding at you and that pretty voice keeps telling you what a stupid thing you just did with the car. It is kind of like the gal that talks on the GPS monitor giving you directions. That's another story and I will get back to what I was going to say. The old ADHD is kicking in again. At any rate, we rented the car for the day. Denise drove the rental and I drove the Taurus to Fresno. Tomorrow was Tuesday and this week Tuesday meant gym day. Denise said that I could take the rental because I was also on the contract, so what the heck. I was filled with a great expectation that I was going to try the spiffy new piece of road hardware out. I knew that it had all the bells, whistles, and hot and cold running door knobs with everything being electronic and computerized. I think that was the problem. Those two little words electronic and computerized are supposed to make our lives easier--not mine. Needless to say, I was excited that I was going to drive this new example of modern technology. The car had other ideas.
When I grabbed the keys to go to the gym this morning I knew something just was not as it should be. That sort of feeling can spell disaster, especially at 4:30 in the morning BC--Before Coffee. When I grabbed the keys to go out to the car, there was no key. There were no keys on the key ring, just these small oblong orbs that had symbols on them. Had aliens come during the middle of the night and played a trick on me by stealing the keys and leaving these orbs? What did the symbols mean?
 |
| I'm telling you, this baby was high tech. It had hot and cold running door nobs and computerized electronic everything on it. |
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