Revenge Of The Machines

     So, I got my computer fixed.  It just doesn't end there though.  My computer is working fine and
doing exactly what I want it to do, but I think it kind of resented the fact that I got it fixed and can no longer cause me a great amount of frustration.  Machines talk to one another, and I think that they hold grudges, especially when we humans want to wrest control back from their dominance.  Such is the case with my car.
     Do you know how many computer components are on a car.  Yes, my car was manufactured--not made by the way because when you make something there is the possibility that you also install a personality or some form of intelligence--in 2004.  I realize that is old and the electronics on it are not as advanced as a car that is built--again built, not made--in 2015. But, like a grandson sitting at the knee of their grandfather they still talk to one another. They share stories and especially share conspiracies, especially on  how to drive humans crazy.
     Someone who is as techno-challenged as I am has no chance. We frustrate easily and machines know this.  Yes, I did have my computer fixed but it talked to my car. As a form of revenge it ordered my car to go on the fritz. You got to love the communication and networking.
     I put a lot of loving kindness in my car.  I give it baths and watch it's fluid levels.  Occasionally I even feed it high octane fuel.  Do you blame me for reacting the way I am. My frustration level is very high at this point. The options I have open to me are very narrow. I have to take it to a car doctor and have a machine tell the doctor what is wrong with it.
     The services that the doctor is going to perform on my car are pretty expensive and I am still at the mercy of another machine that diagnoses what is wrong. Once again and I can't say this strongly enough, it is a wicked conspiracy.  Think about it for a minute, how do I know that the diagnostic machine is telling the truth or just pulling my chain? What other machine is going to cause me a great amount of frustration after I get my car fixed?  All of this kind of makes you think, doesn't it?
     Maybe not.

Not my car anymore. I really miss that car.

It's a Computer Conspiracy

     I  think that computers are out to get us. Its true.  They were intended to make life better for us, but that is  not the case. Their hidden agenda is now starting to surface and has reared it's ugly head with my computer. That modern tool that I depend on every day is now on the fritz, with no ill feelings toward Fritz.
     I am not going to describe what is happening to my modern marvel of technology. What the heck, I couldn't describe it anyway so why bother. The darn thing just isn't working right.  More importantly, my puny attempts to fix it have been met in utter frustration--mine not the computer's.  I think that it is laughing at me. They share these things with other computers. Computers compare notes you know, sharing how they have completely made their human users go bonkers. I think they call it interfacing, and they know.
     Those of you who are conspiracy theorists can take heart with this one. I don't know who shot JFK and I don't know if Roswell was really an alien spacecraft crash site.  What I do know is that they are out to get us--computers I mean. What do all those 0's and 1's mean anyway. What is going on in their beady  little binary minds. How can we really foul up that human today? That's what is going on.
     I agree with the noted philosopher, whose name is Unknown. That's a strange name, isn't it? Why did his mother call him unknown.  Was she mad at him or something.  History does not mention this. He or she did write a lot though as many philosophical sayings and writings are credited to Unknown. 
    What did that philosopher Unknown say about this, as I return to the original subject.  Sorry, my ADD kicked in and I got a little off subject. I will leave you with this and what they said.  "To err is human. It takes a computer to really foul things up." AMEN!

My Able-Bodied Computer Technician

Clam Up In Israel

     I am a little frustrated right now as I am having issues with my computer. That will probably show up in a later post. Today I wanted to give you a little insight on how my brain works. Those of you who are psychiatric in nature and care to analyze me, I have to let you in on this.  Many have tried and all have failed.
     I had a dream last night. I hesitate to analyze the whole thing, but even I thought it was very strange. I was involved in a clam bake. The interesting thing about this was that the clam bake was in Israel. I wouldn't lie to you.  I thought it was a bit odd as well. Isn't shellfish forbidden under rabbinical law. I thought Jews can't eat clams, especially in Israel. Arabs can, I think but I am not sure.
    I love clams. I have tried them raw on the half shell and they taste like Tide detergent, even with a bit of lemon and tabasco sauce. The mollusks are great steamed in garlic and butter dipped in a little bit of drawn butter after they are steamed.  Clams are great fried as well and of course in New England Clam Chowder. Clams are delicious, but you don't have to go to Israel to have them.
     It seems as though this variety of clam that we were dining on in Israel were a special kind of clam. They were big and they had a huge amount of meat in them. After you opened the shell, there was like a beefy fillet that you cut like a steak. You have to remember that this was a dream and came from my nocturnal imagination. With my brain, anything is libel to show up. Suffice it to say, the experience was very interesting. How did the clams taste? I don't know, I woke up, went into the kitchen and opened up a can of clam chowder.

How come he never dreams about us?

Where Have You Been?

     It seems as though I have done this before.  I know that it is very important to post often and be consistent. That is a problem to me, but I am going to try to fix that. After all, I am a writer and I need to write. I also need to pay the bills, but that is another story.
     There is a real good reason for my not posting, I'm sure. I have been sick for more that three weeks.  That's a good one.  My step-son just got marries and I was helping with the preparations for that. OK, that won't work. I have been playing too much golf.  If you call four times since January an excuse, I guess you could say that.  I have been watching too many "Chick Flicks" on TV. That could be thrown into the mix, It is baseball season and the Giants are playing and on TV almost every night can be used as an excuse.
   My final excuse is truly the best.  There is no excuse. It's time to get writing again.

This is what my brain has looked like recently. I'm trying to restore it.

Habits

     You caught me in a contemplative mood today. Yes, I know I haven't posted in a long while and I feel guilty about that. Things are getting in the way and they shouldn't. Posting on my blog should be a regular habit and right now I have been slacking on this commitment for a very long time. It is time to reestablish the habit.
     Habits are funny things. Isn't it interesting that it is easy to maintain a bad habit but very hard to start a new productive one? Some people it seems start out with or are blessed practicing good habits and don't give them a second thought.  I am not that way.  Most of my habits are bad, at least I don't smoke or drink. I do overeat. I am trying to change that.
     Right now I am fighting the battle of losing weight.  I am sure that a lot of you readers are familiar with that undertaking. It's more than an undertaking and more like a crusade. Many of my well established life habits have got to change. I am trying to do this little by little so that I may see some significant victories my "Battle of the Bulge", but that is hard to do.
     I have started to go to the gym three times a week to work out, but that doesn't always happen. I went Monday as I try to work out on Monday, Wednesday and Friday because I left my keys in my pants pockets which the pants are hung in the bedroom.  It's 5:30 AM and I didn't want to awaken my wife, so I took a long walk instead. I do feel very good right now after the walk, so I am glad that I did take the walk.      I know this post isn't up to my normal high standards of literary endeavor, but at least I am back writing. Please be patient with me.  Like a baseball player that has been injured, this is a rehab post.

I have been away from my duties for far too long.

No Pain, No Gain

     It's Monday again and my body knows what that means. Oh, for joy, it's time to go to the gym again.  Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I drag myself out of bed at about 4:45 in the morning to be at the gym by 5:30. Today was especially ugly because I haven't worked out in about two and a half weeks. I truly dread this. Why do I have to go, do I have to? I don't want to go. Well, I'm up now and dressed.  I might as well go, besides I don't want to take a ribbing from Denise. Here I go, I'll tell you how it went.  Why do I subject myself to this torture? I don't know if it is really worth it.
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     I'm back.  WOW, do I feel great! My back is not hurting and my body feels energized. I can feel my heart pumping and I kind of have that after workout glow. My legs tingle and my mind is clear. I can't wait until Wednesday! It's time for my coffee and breakfast.  Hello day, I am very glad to see you again and I'm ready for whatever you have for me.

Nope, not for breakfast today!
Hi Poland, It's good to see you back.
The video is for those of you who are stuck in the snow of the Frozen North or wherever it is snowing.

Things That Go Bump In The Night.

     We are moved!  We give the keys to the old house back to our former landlords today and then we are finished. Out with the old and in with the new. Now we turn the page and delve into a new chapter in our lives. That sounds poetic, doesn't it? It's not that new, we just moved into a new house not far from where we used to live. We are not moving to Outer Mongolia to become missionaries to the Bondag tribe who don't even speak English. The people who's house we are moving into are doing that for a year. Nope, we are just moving a few miles away from where we were living.
     Moving into a new house is always a fun experience. There is always excitement for anything new.  It does have its problems though.  You have to remember that I suffer for a pretty good case of ADHD.  I am not good at change. I have bumped that dad gum curio with the nicknacs  at least 100 times.  So has Denise. Do I turn right at the hall to go to the bathroom and left for the hall closet, or is it the other way around? You could just imagine the problems that could cause.
     Nights have been especially fun.  My brain isn't quite used to the new floor plan. I am not going to mention a very important thing that happens to a sixty year old man in the middle of the night.  Those of you who are men and over sixty know what I am talking about.  There should be a door here somewhere. Nope, It's a wall...BANG! Where is that bathroom door?
     As I said, we are finished moving out of the old house.  Now on to the next fun thing. We have to unpack. I guess I can find cheer in the fact that we aren't going to move soon, at least until the house owners get back in a year. This is kind of like shampooing your hair--rinse and repeat.

I guess you are wondering what a C-47 has to do with moving into a new house. Well, the C-47 moved a lot of cargo during WWII and beyond.  I know that's a stretch, but it will have to do.

A Moving Experience--Part 6 ( The Oh No, Can't You Write About Something Else Edition)

     This is it folks, the final assault.  There is still materiel and some other odds and ends at the old house, but these have to be out or at least off the carpet by tomorrow. The carpet cleaners are coming to nuc the carpet tomorrow and the house detailer is coming on Saturday. Everything must be out by tomorrow, or at least off the carpets.
     Wish us luck, this may get ugly. We shall prevail!

What the inside of the old house looks like right now.  On to the final assault hopefully with no casualties. I pity the carpet cleaners.

A Moving Experience--Part 5 And I Hope The Last

     OK, so I'm being a bit overly optimistic That this will be the last in the "Moving Experience" post strand. We still are not totally moved. If I were to say that we are almost moved, I would be stretching the truth.  Today is going to be a big day though.  Most of the big stuff is out and my office is up and running in the new house, but we still have a ways to go.
     I have been sick.  Today I actually feel a lot better and can be effective in helping "The General" out in the move.  She has to work, so I am going to the house to facilitate the move.  My role today will be much more active than it has been the past few days.
     Speaking about being sick, this was not a pleasant experience. It was the kind of sick that you feel terrible, but not bad enough to go to the hospital. However, if you don't stop what you are doing and rest it hangs on forever. I never ran a fever but I ached all over and was bestowed upon the pleasure of a sore throat and ugly cough. My body ached and told me many times that I had to stop immediately what I was doing and quickly go to a slumber state.
     Yesterday I was feeling a bit better so I ran some errands with "The General" that needed to be done.  When I get a cold or the flu, I don't take anything for it as I don't want to artificially interfere with my body's immunity system. I sit--or lay down in most cases--and suffer the symptoms. What was weird about running errands with "The General" was that I was in a total state of "slow". Keep in mind that I was not medicated.
     Things were going so slow that they were almost going backward. I actually could see the words coming out of "The General's" mouth.  Here is a sample of what that looked like, and no I wasn't smoking anything or taken any controlled substances. "S--O,  H--O--W  A--R--E  Y--O--U  F--E--E--L--I--N--G  T--O--D--A--Y,  D--E--A--R? (So how are you feeling today, dear?)  Honestly, that is how it looked.  You can just imaging how long it took me to translate the messages she was sending. They were simple messages too. It was almost as if I needed to take out my C.I.A. (since declassified) spy code book and decipher the message. Even then, I couldn't find the book--they had changed the code on me and didn't tell me after I found the book so I had to make some educated guesses. You can imagine how that went.
     I feel much better.  It's off to do battle in the theater of the old house. Yes, we are working on the move today.  Big day today as the person that is coming to clean the house and the carpet cleaner is coming as well.

My nurse. She is very nice, just a little bit stiff. I noticed that she doesn't talk much though. 

     

A Moving Experience--Part 4

     Are we totally moved in yet--No.  We are working on it. The big problem is that I have been sick as a dog the past few days and I haven't been much help on the move.  I have that "Creepin Crud" that a lot of people have come down with.  I hope that I get over it soon because "The General" needs her sergeant.
     The permanent command center has been established.  I am communicating to you from there now. It has not been totally equipped and branded yet but it is up and running.  My staff has arrived and we are ready to go. King Kong and White Elephant say hello to you.  They are at their posts and are ready to fulfill their duty.  What are their duties, by the way?  One is a bit stiff and the other is stuffed, but don't tell them I said that.  They have been loyal.
    It really is great to be in this location. I have given up some very important perks, but that is the nature of the mission. This communication center is much smaller and does not have the room that the other location did. Those are the sacrifices you have to make.
 What mission, you say? I don't think there is one, I just had to write something and that sounded good at the moment.

Our new field command center.

A Moving Experience-- Star Date Supplemental

     I always was a fan of Star Trek.. I used to love it when Kirk, Picard or for that matter any of the other Captains were always in a jam and could not make an entry in their Captain's log. They would say, " Captain's log, stardate supplemental." That to me was the height of cool. I thought that if they could

do it, so could I. Here it goes, Dave's blog-stardate supplemental.
     I am in a classified location writing this. We are in the middle of the move and things are going well. This location is undisclosed because of the sensitive nature of the move. It is not sensitive to the security of the country but it is still sensitive and I can't explain because that information too is classified.
     I have successes to report that have been declassified so I can share that limited information with you. The garage is pretty much moved, which is a big thing. We had to sweep it for mines--er, uh black widow spiders--so the task was very extensive and exhaustive. That bit is don and the materiel contained in the garage has been relocated to the storage bunker. Today's assault will be--oh, wait a minute I can't tell you that.  That is part of the classified operations order.
     Here is what I can tell you. Objectives have been set and we have brought up the necessary troop units and mechanized units. That Volkswagen missed the general by about six inches by the way. Troop movements are a very dangerous undertaking. The reserves are in place so we are ready to go. As information is available and declassified, I will release it so that you may have an update.
     Due to the nature of this operation, it is unknown whether or not I will publish.  I know I said yesterday that I wouldn't today, but I was able to secure a communication device. I'll keep you posted.
From the field
Dave

Staging area of the secret, undisclosed location. The troops are ready to roll.

A Moving Experience--Part 2

Can't write now, I'm moving.  This will be my last post from this location.  Hopefully, like a phoenix rising out of the ashes I will post form our new home--Maybe, maybe not. Who knows what will happen. You can rest assured that I will get this move completed, coffee cups and all. The golf clubs are already in the trunk and ready to go. God bless, and we will see you on the other side.

From...

A Truly Moving Experience--Not New Year's Day Holiday

     Well, the time is truly here.  We have put it off thinking that it was a dream or that we were caught in a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. Have you ever watched one of those--that and the Lifetime Network. When they put the definition of  "Chick Flick" in the dictionary, they have a schedule of movies that will be appearing on Lifetime or Hallmark. I am not going to admit it that I am hooked, but that's what we watch here in the Rallis house. That's kind of off the subject, I know and I guess the old ADHD is kicking in. What I really want to point out is that the move is here. I DON'T WANT TO MOVE! Too bad sucker, you're movin.
     We are not packed and we have to be out of here by Saturday. My beloved came in this morning before she went to work and told me she doesn't know if  we are going to make it all out by then. To this point, she has been the one kind of in charge of the whole thing.  As of 08:00 today, that is going to change. The private (me) is going to take personal initiative and take the hill. This thing is going to get done, and soon--like today. Get out of the way, general!
     I know what has to be done.  I have been taking this stuff Jovita which is supposed to make me more focused and decisive.  I think it is working. It is going to get done, and starting now. I have the battle plan all laid out, and if the general gets in the way, she may get run over by an A-1 tank--maybe not an A-1 tank as we can't afford the tank but how about a Bradley Fighting Vehicle? We can't afford that either. How about our neighbor's 1970 Volkswagen.  That is more a possibility.
     FORWARD, MARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Third move in three years.  I'm buying stock in U-Haul.

Did Somebody Loose Something?

     Has someone misplaced somethings these past few days?  I have to say that I have found them for you.  I am such a nice guy that I am going to keep them for a while and take care of them, but I want you to come get them as soon as you can. I really don't want them.
     Take a look around you and see what is not there but was there a week ago. I don't know who you are, and I know that it has to be only one person.  Please come and reclaim your property.  I'm talking about the eight pounds that found me over the Christmas/New Year's Holiday. I went to the gym this morning and there they were, lost like little children and clinging to me. They got on the scale with me, all eight of them. I love you little guys, but go back to your owner, please. It was hard enough to return the other seventy pounds I lost to the person who lost them the last time I lost pounds that had come to live with me.
    I think it was Quincy that lost those pounds.  He looked a lot thinner this morning when I saw him at the gym. Quincy is always running and working out.  I did see what looked like a bit of extra meat on his bones last week before New Year's Day.  Today he looked much leaner. I think he gave me a New Year's gift of eight pounds. Thanks a lot, Quincy. Come and reclaim your pounds so they may return to their rightful owner and home.
     Maybe it wasn't Quincy. Whoever you are, come and get these extra pounds. I can only take care of them for a very short time.

Forbidden Fruit.  Honey, why did you buy those doughnuts?

Press To Start--Part 2 ( I Promise)

     I have a problem with new cars and technology, especially at 5:30 in the morning when you want to go to the gym and have not had your coffee yet.  All this is explained in Part 1 so I please go there now and read Part 1 if you haven't already done so. I'm sorry I had to give this to you in two parts, but I got tired and had to make coffee. In a nutshell, we rented a car and I was granted permission from my wife to drive it to the gym.
     Why is it that the good old car key is no longer in fashion?  It is a trusty little tool and can be put to use in a number of ways, not just starting the car.  I use mine for cutting string.  Let's face it, the things come in handy, but the car we rented had a keyless entry/operation system.  It had "The Orb". Aliens had come during the night an had taken the keys and left "The Orb". What had I done to offend those good people on the home planet and why did they take the key to the rental car?.
     What do I do with this "Orb".  It has symbols on it, but what do they mean.  Where's my trusty spy decoder ring that I got in that box of Froot Loops back in 1969? I didn't think that I would ever have to use it, but it was worth a try. Let's see, what does this symbol mean--oh yes unlock.  This symbol means lock.  I think I've got it. The time has come to tackle my fears of technology and try to drive the rental car.  I can do this. It was time to go outside and become the master of the rental car, so I did.
     There it was, sitting in the driveway, nice and shiny. That was a stupid sentence.  Where else would it be, at the city dump?  Of course it is sitting in our driveway nice, new and shiny. It's a brand new rental car, which you can't fit in in your garage because the Taurus is in there and all the junk you are storing for everyone else in the world. Yes, you do detect a bit of anger in my voice, but I just don't want to talk about that.  Sorry I'm off subject again, back to my car rental story.
     After decoding the symbols on "The Orb" I went outside to the car and pressed the button that said "unlock".  I heard the click of the door lock engaging and I was cleared by the car gods to enter the car. I opened the door and immediately that new car smell hit me. The interior was beautiful and what can I say, new.  It had leather seats and all the options you could think of. The leather seats reminded me of that Chrysler Cordoba commercial that ran in the 1970's where Ricardo Maltaban says "Feel the rich, Corinthinan Leather" when he talked about the interior.  What is "Rich Corinthian Leather" anyway. The smell was wonderful, but it was time to get in and I was almost late for my workout.
      It was a sensory thrill when I finally sat in the car behind the wheel. I wondered to myself what it was going to be like to drive this puppy. I was ready. I didn't have to put a key in the ignition, there was no ignition.  What there was though was a button that said in red "Push To Start". It was time, so I pushed the button.  The car came alive, all the dials and gauges lit up.  I thought I was in the space shuttle and about to launch.  Oh, that's right. The space shuttle no longer exists. Maybe I was in a Soyuz capsule, but I couldn't be because everything was in English, not Russian. Through all of this, the car DID NOT start.
     Let's press the pretty red button again.  It says on it "Press To Start".  I pressed it again and guess what, NOTHING! What am I doing wrong?  I pressed the button again and nothing.  I had pretty lights on the dash of the gauges and such, but the thing didn't start. Let's try it again. The thing wouldn't start and I was getting a bit upset. At this point I was very late for my workout, so I said the heck with this, locked the car with "The Orb" and went back inside to get the keys to the Taurus.  Remember, I said keys.
     I opened the garage door, unlocked the door to the Taurus USING THE KEYS and got in.  I put the KEY in the IGNITION and she started right up. I backed out of the garage, closed the garage door and off to my workout I went.
     What do you mean I have to have my foot on the brake in the rental car before I press the pretty "start" button for it to start?

My 350Z had a key.  I miss that car.

   

















       

Many Happy Returns

     'Twas the day after Christmas and all though the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. They had all gone to the mall to return their Christmas gifts for a different size or something they really wanted. I found myself in the same boat.  Unfortunately, my lump of coal had a great big crack in it which would have caused it to break into pieces. I needed to return the black piece of million year decomposed dinosaur for a new one that was not defective. Where do you return a lump of coal?
     My first thought was to try Wal Mart.  They pretty much have everything. So I got up and braved the cold California December morning--temperatures were in the low 50's--and attempted to return the defective coal. I went into the store and discovered I was not the only one to have this idea. The line for "Returns" was out the door and wound its way three times around the building.  I'm not talking about just a regular Wal Mart either.  This was a super-duper mega huge Wal Mart.  I think the line was long enough to start in Los Angeles and follow I-5 all the way down to San Diego. It was then that I decided that returning that valued lump of coal may not be the best investment of my time today.
     As I was leaving, it struck me. I thought it was a truck at the time but it actually was an idea. Why don't I get in line and then make a sign that said that I would give up my place in line for $100. Sounds like a wonderful idea, doesn't it?  I thought so.
     This had a couple of advantages. First, if someone wanted my place in line as I got closer to the front of the line, I would make some cash for just waiting in line, return the coal some other day and make $100 in the bargain. If nobody wanted my place, I could still exchange my lump of coal for a new one--at least I hoped that Wal Mart carried coal.  This was truly a win-win situation. There I was, standing in line at Wal Mart carrying a sign that said "Will Give Up My Place In Line For $100".
     I got a lot of comments about my sign, but no takers.  I had to explain many times that I was not crazy even though those of you who know me know the truth about that statement.  Many though it was a wonderful idea, but I had no takers. The line kept moving forward and I was getting closer to the front of the line.  Surely I would have a taker soon.
     That was not to be.  There were no takers. After thinking about it, I decided I knew why.  I was at Wal Mart for goodness sake and no one going to Wal Mart would ever pay full price retail.  I decided to drop the price to $29.95 and see what happened. NOTHING!
      There was good news and bad news to this. The bad news was that even at $29.95 there were no takers on my offer.  I refused to discount my pricing as I was getting close to my profit margin evaporating. The good news was that I was getting closer to the front of the line and very soon I was there. My idea had not taken flight and actually was shot down by market forces that just didn't want my product or service.  I did take heart though because as I was pondering my huge entrepreneurial failure I found my self at the front of the line.
     I felt very much uplifted when the Wal Mart associate behind the returns counter finally said, "I can help the next person in line." I was there.
     "I would like to return this lump of coal, please." I said very politely.
     "I'm sorry, but we don't carry coal sir." she said calmly.
     At that point, I decided to keep the lump of coal. It did have character with its huge crack in the middle of the lump and learning a very important lesson on my entrepreneurial skills. After all, the lump of coal
was given to me as a special Christmas gift with love from someone special. Thank you my dear wife for the very loving thought and gift.

Does Home Depot sell coal?

         

Press To Start--Part 2 (Not Quite Yet)

     This was supposed to be Press To Start--Part 2, but that is not going to happen today.  Today has been one of those days, given that it is Christmas Eve. Let's just say that it has been one busy day and I was supposed to have written this about five hours ago.  Between the "honey do's" and company and other things that you do to get ready for Christmas Day, it has been one interruption after another.
     Don't worry though, the stuff I was going to write down is still bouncing around in my brain.  You remember the superball in the metal room don't you.  Remember, that superball has to come out and it will probably on Friday. It is Christmas Eve after all and you just have to be patient my child. Thank you France and Poland I miss you.
                                        To all of you, I want to wish you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 You might have been expecting some sort of Holiday picture, but unfortunately I don't have one. I hope to be kicking back soon to get ready for tomorrow's festivities but that's not going to happen for a while.

Let's Rock and Roll

     As my wife was leaving the house this morning she said to me, "I've got to roll."  That was a curious thing to say in that I don't think that she was going to get down on the floor and roll head over heals or side over side. That would have been an interesting sight.
     I understand what she meant, she was running late and had to get going on her way to work but it got the little wheels in my head rolling.  The mental image that popped into my head was of her somersaulting her way through the house from the bedroom through the hall into the kitchen and out the door into the garage with her final destination being the car. How was she going to carry her stuff to the car when she was rolling? She has a lot of stuff to carry.  I would have carried the stuff for her, but she is kind of territorial when it comes to her stuff for work.
     Why would you want to roll when you have two perfectly good feet that will take you anywhere you want to go by just putting one foot in front of another? If you get stuck with an obstacle in you path, it is very hard to roll over it.  Why not just step over it. You can if you are walking, but if you are rolling that is a different story. If you are rolling, you kind of just butt up against the obstacle and if the obstacle does not have an incline to roll up as in the case of a short wall, you are stuck   Think about that for a minute.
     What about when someone says "let's rock".  That causes its own set of problems. A rock has no way to move itself.  It depends on some outside source of motion in order to move. On its own, it is pretty much stuck where it is.
     Even if you are talking about rocking as a verb, you are still looking at a very stable "stay in one place" action that is very dependent on outside force. To "rock" means to go back and forth. When you rock, you go forward and then backward, ending up in the same place most of the time. As an illustration I bring to you a boat. A boat rocks from side to side and back to front.  I know this because I have been on a cruise.  My experiences also include deep sea fishing and we all know what rocking does on when you go deep sea fishing. There is also a lot of heaving and hurling, but that is another story.
      Now, just stop a moment and think about the things I just said.  If they make any sense to you, you are worse off than I thought. At least, that's what my wife keeps saying to me.

It may rock, but it sure as heck ain't gonna roll.

  

On A Serious Note

     I sat down this morning and wondered what I was going to bring to you this morning. My thought was that I would change the pace today a bit and write about something more on the serious side. I think that I am totally capable of doing that, although that seems to be totally out of character for me. The problem is coming up with something serious to write about.
     How about politics? No, I don't want to anger anyone.  That subject is becoming a bit more volatile, and what used to be just a difference of opinion has turned into almost a war between competing ideals. I won't go there. I want to make life a bit more bearable for my readers, not separate them. My goal is to comment and make you chuckle on the more mundane things of life. By the way, how do you put your shoes on?
     I suppose that I could talk about my daughter marrying the man of her dreams a couple of Saturdays ago.  I am very proud of her and of all my children.  I wish her and her new husband all the best of luck and God's blessings. I very much like and are proud of my three sons-in-law.  I feel that my daughters have married well.  Besides, my new son-in-law is a golf pro, not that he will take up a special place in my heart because of that.
     I could also talk about my wife and how blessed I am that God has sent her to me. She is the love of my life and I am very fortunate to share the rest of my life with her. At this point, that is all I'm going to say because there is much more to be said, so much more that this would be a very long post. She did find a formal dress for Saturday night by the way.
     One thing I did want to share but didn't know how I was going to do it was that I have changed the roast of my coffee.  I am drinking Kona Blend instead of French Roast. Sometimes change is good in one's life, so I went and made the change.  I will go back to French Roast as soon as the Kona Blend runs out, probably next week.  Wow, that was exciting and controversial.
     I hope all that was serious enough for you.

This doesn't have anything to do with today's post.  I just wanted to publish the picture because it is kind of cool.

 

The Shoe Is On The Wrong Foot--Or Maybe The Right Foot

     All you deep thinkers reading this, I have yet again something for you to think about.  Which shoe do you put on first?  I know this is not something that you stop to think about, you just kind of do it. Have you ever stopped to consider the motivations and underlying reasons as far as the way you complete that mundane task.  Remember, you may be taking your shoes on and off many times a day--or maybe not.
     Here is another thing that adds to this.  Which sock do you put on before you put your shoes on? Do you put both socks on before you put your shoes on, or do you put the sock and then the shoe on for the right foot and then repeat the process for the left foot. Are both socks on when you put your left shoe on or do you do one sock at a time starting with your left foot?  Maybe you don't wear socks, I don't know.
      I used to not wear socks until my wife got mad at me so now I do. I'm a people pleaser, you know. If it were up to me, I would wear sandals without socks year round. I would also wear shorts all year but it does get kind of cold here in our part of California.  Now, if I lived in San Diego that would be a totally different story. I like San Diego and hate wearing long pants and shoes. Being cold is a bad thing to me and I hate being cold. As a matter of fact, I hate wearing shoes and still walk to the mailbox barefoot. It's still warm enough here to do that.
     I wonder if there is something psychological about how you put your shoes and socks on--if you wear socks.  According to psychologists, psychiatrists and behavior theorists--I like that title, behavioral theorist--there is an underlying motive behind everything we do both consciously and unconsciously. I thank you Dr. Freud. Are you politically conservative if you put both your socks on at the same time and then put your right shoe on? Are you a communist if you put only your left sock on and then the left shoe, proceeding to repeat the process for the right foot? I'll bet you never thought about that one, did you?
    Excuse me, I'm going to work out at the gym now.  Where are my sneakers?  Let's see, which shoe do I put on first and are my socks on?

I hate shoes!