Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Forever Vigilant--Awake At 1:15 AM

     How many of you are awake at this hour making sure that our world is safe?  I am. The time is 1:17 PDT, or 01:17 military time. Don't ask me what that is in Zulu or Greenwich Time as I am not sure.  I think it is ten hours ahead of us, but I am not sure of this.I think I am awake writing this, but I am not 100% certain. This may be just a cruel joke. However, I am at my post being vigilant making sure the world is safe.  Should something happen like the Martians invade or the endangered hoards of "Boogie Men" attack, I will sound the alarm.
      Who would I sound the alarm to and how would that alarm sound. I kind of like the alarm sounds on a German  U-boat that I have heard in all those German submarine movies. Someone yells out Alam, Alam and you know something bad is happening or about to happen. Its kind of like have you made out your will yet time.  You aren't going  to be walking on this planet long Buddy because that American destroyer above you has you zeroed in and here come the depth charges time. I'm sorry, but you just can't stop the inevitable.
     I have just checked out my window and can assure you all is well.  If something changes and it appears that we are in trouble of "The Calamity" befalling us, I will sound the alarm, or Alam, Alam--whatever the case may be. Go back to sleep, I shall remain vigilant!







Why am I still awake at 1:17 AM PDT or 01:17 PDT military time?












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A picture of the destroyer USS Black Rascal Creek during anti-submarine manuvers. So I spelled manuvers wrong.
This isn't the USS Black Rascal Creek?  What am I going to do with my staff?  










Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Don't Touch That Dial

     I have a love for cable TV. Whatever time of day it is I can press the "guide" button on my remote and scan the channels for whatever program that is being broadcast.  If I don't like what I see, which usually is the case because the rule of thumb is when you want to watch some good TV nothing is on no mater how many channels you get, I can always go to "on demand" where there is nothing I want to watch anyway. Ah the pleasures of the electronic age. All these channels for a price that is over inflated and most of us never watch.
     Does anyone get up and change channels anymore? I admit to being guilty of overuse of the remote. By the way, the remote has functions on it that I am not aware of and will never use. Last night I hit a button by accident and there was a game show on.  They were speaking Jamokistani. I don't even know where Jamokistan is but there was a commercial on the show that wanted me to order a pizza.  How long would it take for a pizza to get to me from Jamokastan? I kind of wondered that.
     I looked very seriously at the troubles of this world and I can confidently make this statement. We can blame all the ills of this world on the invention of the TV remote. We no longer get up from the couch and change channels. This set in motion a dangerous precedent of not exercising, as getting up off the couch and physically changing the TV channel was a wonderful physical activity. That has since gone way of the rotary telephone.  We won't even mention the landline home telephone.
     This brings me back to the title of this installment of my trifle comments here. I remember when you liked a program on one of the three network stations that were TV you wouldn't change the channel. Many of the announcers would say, "Don't touch that dial." Today's TV viewer would ask, what's a dial.
I guess we must bridge the gap between the old and the new. OK, so that was a stretch. I have got to take some more pictures to illustrate my blog.  

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Its A Conspiracy--Part 2

     It is a conspiracy.  I get on my computer many times a day and it is as if it is laughing at me. Yesterday my computer had to be worked on to remove some things that were not that pretty. The fact of the matter is, it was spying on me. This is the truth.
     For the past couple of weeks, my computer has been doing some strange things and has been running very slow. You can see some of the mischief that it caused just by looking at my last post.  It redacted, that's a government term for blacked out, some of the best  points in my last post. Again, I don't know what is going on in it's beady little brain.  That's right, it doesn't have a brain just a jumble of electronic stuff that I don't understand anyway. I long for the days of analog.
     What has been done has been done. The witty bit of writing that was my last blog post has been lost in the world of cyberspace and I can't get it back.  This is tragic, although I think that the world will keep on spinning. However, you will not discover the true joy of my wit that I created in Thursday's post. That is sad.  Don't worry though, the problem seems to be fixed and I have come to an understanding with my computer. I'll hit the keys and share my wit, and you just take care of the 0's and 1's.  I am the brains behind this operation, and you are just a tool in my success. I love you, most of the time, but please keep the relationship in perspective. You serve me, I don't serve you.
     That's it for today as I commit this wonderful bit of literaturial drivel to the highway that is the internet. By the way, what is the internet anyway. Computers talking to other computers.  Now there is a scary idea.
Kind of looks like the inside of my brain.Don't touch the lever on the right!

Monday, January 26, 2015

No Pain, No Gain

     It's Monday again and my body knows what that means. Oh, for joy, it's time to go to the gym again.  Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I drag myself out of bed at about 4:45 in the morning to be at the gym by 5:30. Today was especially ugly because I haven't worked out in about two and a half weeks. I truly dread this. Why do I have to go, do I have to? I don't want to go. Well, I'm up now and dressed.  I might as well go, besides I don't want to take a ribbing from Denise. Here I go, I'll tell you how it went.  Why do I subject myself to this torture? I don't know if it is really worth it.
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     I'm back.  WOW, do I feel great! My back is not hurting and my body feels energized. I can feel my heart pumping and I kind of have that after workout glow. My legs tingle and my mind is clear. I can't wait until Wednesday! It's time for my coffee and breakfast.  Hello day, I am very glad to see you again and I'm ready for whatever you have for me.
Nope, not for breakfast today!
Hi Poland, It's good to see you back.
The video is for those of you who are stuck in the snow of the Frozen North or wherever it is snowing.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Who Moved My Cheese--I Mean Coffee?

     I must say this right off the bat.  If you are the author of "Who Moved My Cheese" please don't sue me for using your title. It wouldn't be advantageous to you to sue me as I wouldn't have the riches to pay off any sort of judgments anyway. I am just a poor retired teacher and starving writer. Maybe my wife could pay the settlement costs back in piano lessons, but I would have to do some heavy talking to get her to do that. I did read your book by the way and found it insightful.
     Everything is out of the old house and over here into the new house or has been placed in storage. The physical move is over but we are overwhelmed with a sea full of boxes. You have to wonder, What did we leave in storage that we should have brought over here and what is over here that really should be in storage?  I can tell you right now one important thing we took to storage, my coffee.  Who did that?  Who is responsible for misplacing the makings of the fluid that keeps life going?  I personally brought over that hot chocolate mix that is supposed to cure my ADHD, but what about my coffee.  I was sick and couldn't monitor the situation.  Wouldn't you know it somebody dropped the ball.  Where is my coffee?  Who moved my coffee and where did you put it?
     I can put up with my clothes and underwear being misplaced. Don't worry, I won't go into the details of that.  I can even go having my golf clubs in the wrong place, at least not for long. My coffee is a different story.  WHO MOVED MY COFFEE AND WHERE DID YOU PUT IT!!!!!!!
In Happier Times

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Things That Go Bump In The Night.

     We are moved!  We give the keys to the old house back to our former landlords today and then we are finished. Out with the old and in with the new. Now we turn the page and delve into a new chapter in our lives. That sounds poetic, doesn't it? It's not that new, we just moved into a new house not far from where we used to live. We are not moving to Outer Mongolia to become missionaries to the Bondag tribe who don't even speak English. The people who's house we are moving into are doing that for a year. Nope, we are just moving a few miles away from where we were living.
     Moving into a new house is always a fun experience. There is always excitement for anything new.  It does have its problems though.  You have to remember that I suffer for a pretty good case of ADHD.  I am not good at change. I have bumped that dad gum curio with the nicknacs  at least 100 times.  So has Denise. Do I turn right at the hall to go to the bathroom and left for the hall closet, or is it the other way around? You could just imagine the problems that could cause.
     Nights have been especially fun.  My brain isn't quite used to the new floor plan. I am not going to mention a very important thing that happens to a sixty year old man in the middle of the night.  Those of you who are men and over sixty know what I am talking about.  There should be a door here somewhere. Nope, It's a wall...BANG! Where is that bathroom door?
     As I said, we are finished moving out of the old house.  Now on to the next fun thing. We have to unpack. I guess I can find cheer in the fact that we aren't going to move soon, at least until the house owners get back in a year. This is kind of like shampooing your hair--rinse and repeat.
I guess you are wondering what a C-47 has to do with moving into a new house. Well, the C-47 moved a lot of cargo during WWII and beyond.  I know that's a stretch, but it will have to do.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

A Moving Experience--Part 6 ( The Oh No, Can't You Write About Something Else Edition)

     This is it folks, the final assault.  There is still materiel and some other odds and ends at the old house, but these have to be out or at least off the carpet by tomorrow. The carpet cleaners are coming to nuc the carpet tomorrow and the house detailer is coming on Saturday. Everything must be out by tomorrow, or at least off the carpets.
     Wish us luck, this may get ugly. We shall prevail!
What the inside of the old house looks like right now.  On to the final assault hopefully with no casualties. I pity the carpet cleaners.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

A Moving Experience--Part 5 And I Hope The Last

     OK, so I'm being a bit overly optimistic That this will be the last in the "Moving Experience" post strand. We still are not totally moved. If I were to say that we are almost moved, I would be stretching the truth.  Today is going to be a big day though.  Most of the big stuff is out and my office is up and running in the new house, but we still have a ways to go.
     I have been sick.  Today I actually feel a lot better and can be effective in helping "The General" out in the move.  She has to work, so I am going to the house to facilitate the move.  My role today will be much more active than it has been the past few days.
     Speaking about being sick, this was not a pleasant experience. It was the kind of sick that you feel terrible, but not bad enough to go to the hospital. However, if you don't stop what you are doing and rest it hangs on forever. I never ran a fever but I ached all over and was bestowed upon the pleasure of a sore throat and ugly cough. My body ached and told me many times that I had to stop immediately what I was doing and quickly go to a slumber state.
     Yesterday I was feeling a bit better so I ran some errands with "The General" that needed to be done.  When I get a cold or the flu, I don't take anything for it as I don't want to artificially interfere with my body's immunity system. I sit--or lay down in most cases--and suffer the symptoms. What was weird about running errands with "The General" was that I was in a total state of "slow". Keep in mind that I was not medicated.
     Things were going so slow that they were almost going backward. I actually could see the words coming out of "The General's" mouth.  Here is a sample of what that looked like, and no I wasn't smoking anything or taken any controlled substances. "S--O,  H--O--W  A--R--E  Y--O--U  F--E--E--L--I--N--G  T--O--D--A--Y,  D--E--A--R? (So how are you feeling today, dear?)  Honestly, that is how it looked.  You can just imaging how long it took me to translate the messages she was sending. They were simple messages too. It was almost as if I needed to take out my C.I.A. (since declassified) spy code book and decipher the message. Even then, I couldn't find the book--they had changed the code on me and didn't tell me after I found the book so I had to make some educated guesses. You can imagine how that went.
     I feel much better.  It's off to do battle in the theater of the old house. Yes, we are working on the move today.  Big day today as the person that is coming to clean the house and the carpet cleaner is coming as well.
My nurse. She is very nice, just a little bit stiff. I noticed that she doesn't talk much though. 
     

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

A Moving Experience--Part 4

     Are we totally moved in yet--No.  We are working on it. The big problem is that I have been sick as a dog the past few days and I haven't been much help on the move.  I have that "Creepin Crud" that a lot of people have come down with.  I hope that I get over it soon because "The General" needs her sergeant.
     The permanent command center has been established.  I am communicating to you from there now. It has not been totally equipped and branded yet but it is up and running.  My staff has arrived and we are ready to go. King Kong and White Elephant say hello to you.  They are at their posts and are ready to fulfill their duty.  What are their duties, by the way?  One is a bit stiff and the other is stuffed, but don't tell them I said that.  They have been loyal.
    It really is great to be in this location. I have given up some very important perks, but that is the nature of the mission. This communication center is much smaller and does not have the room that the other location did. Those are the sacrifices you have to make.
 What mission, you say? I don't think there is one, I just had to write something and that sounded good at the moment.
Our new field command center.


Thursday, January 8, 2015

A Moving Experience-- Star Date Supplemental

     I always was a fan of Star Trek.. I used to love it when Kirk, Picard or for that matter any of the other Captains were always in a jam and could not make an entry in their Captain's log. They would say, " Captain's log, stardate supplemental." That to me was the height of cool. I thought that if they could
do it, so could I. Here it goes, Dave's blog-stardate supplemental.
     I am in a classified location writing this. We are in the middle of the move and things are going well. This location is undisclosed because of the sensitive nature of the move. It is not sensitive to the security of the country but it is still sensitive and I can't explain because that information too is classified.
     I have successes to report that have been declassified so I can share that limited information with you. The garage is pretty much moved, which is a big thing. We had to sweep it for mines--er, uh black widow spiders--so the task was very extensive and exhaustive. That bit is don and the materiel contained in the garage has been relocated to the storage bunker. Today's assault will be--oh, wait a minute I can't tell you that.  That is part of the classified operations order.
     Here is what I can tell you. Objectives have been set and we have brought up the necessary troop units and mechanized units. That Volkswagen missed the general by about six inches by the way. Troop movements are a very dangerous undertaking. The reserves are in place so we are ready to go. As information is available and declassified, I will release it so that you may have an update.
     Due to the nature of this operation, it is unknown whether or not I will publish.  I know I said yesterday that I wouldn't today, but I was able to secure a communication device. I'll keep you posted.
From the field
Dave


Staging area of the secret, undisclosed location. The troops are ready to roll.




Wednesday, January 7, 2015

A Moving Experience--Part 2

Can't write now, I'm moving.  This will be my last post from this location.  Hopefully, like a phoenix rising out of the ashes I will post form our new home--Maybe, maybe not. Who knows what will happen. You can rest assured that I will get this move completed, coffee cups and all. The golf clubs are already in the trunk and ready to go. God bless, and we will see you on the other side.
From...

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

A Truly Moving Experience--Not New Year's Day Holiday

     Well, the time is truly here.  We have put it off thinking that it was a dream or that we were caught in a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. Have you ever watched one of those--that and the Lifetime Network. When they put the definition of  "Chick Flick" in the dictionary, they have a schedule of movies that will be appearing on Lifetime or Hallmark. I am not going to admit it that I am hooked, but that's what we watch here in the Rallis house. That's kind of off the subject, I know and I guess the old ADHD is kicking in. What I really want to point out is that the move is here. I DON'T WANT TO MOVE! Too bad sucker, you're movin.
     We are not packed and we have to be out of here by Saturday. My beloved came in this morning before she went to work and told me she doesn't know if  we are going to make it all out by then. To this point, she has been the one kind of in charge of the whole thing.  As of 08:00 today, that is going to change. The private (me) is going to take personal initiative and take the hill. This thing is going to get done, and soon--like today. Get out of the way, general!
     I know what has to be done.  I have been taking this stuff Jovita which is supposed to make me more focused and decisive.  I think it is working. It is going to get done, and starting now. I have the battle plan all laid out, and if the general gets in the way, she may get run over by an A-1 tank--maybe not an A-1 tank as we can't afford the tank but how about a Bradley Fighting Vehicle? We can't afford that either. How about our neighbor's 1970 Volkswagen.  That is more a possibility.
     FORWARD, MARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Third move in three years.  I'm buying stock in U-Haul.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Did Somebody Loose Something?

     Has someone misplaced somethings these past few days?  I have to say that I have found them for you.  I am such a nice guy that I am going to keep them for a while and take care of them, but I want you to come get them as soon as you can. I really don't want them.
     Take a look around you and see what is not there but was there a week ago. I don't know who you are, and I know that it has to be only one person.  Please come and reclaim your property.  I'm talking about the eight pounds that found me over the Christmas/New Year's Holiday. I went to the gym this morning and there they were, lost like little children and clinging to me. They got on the scale with me, all eight of them. I love you little guys, but go back to your owner, please. It was hard enough to return the other seventy pounds I lost to the person who lost them the last time I lost pounds that had come to live with me.
    I think it was Quincy that lost those pounds.  He looked a lot thinner this morning when I saw him at the gym. Quincy is always running and working out.  I did see what looked like a bit of extra meat on his bones last week before New Year's Day.  Today he looked much leaner. I think he gave me a New Year's gift of eight pounds. Thanks a lot, Quincy. Come and reclaim your pounds so they may return to their rightful owner and home.
     Maybe it wasn't Quincy. Whoever you are, come and get these extra pounds. I can only take care of them for a very short time.
Forbidden Fruit.  Honey, why did you buy those doughnuts?

Monday, December 29, 2014

Press To Start--Part 2 ( I Promise)

     I have a problem with new cars and technology, especially at 5:30 in the morning when you want to go to the gym and have not had your coffee yet.  All this is explained in Part 1 so I please go there now and read Part 1 if you haven't already done so. I'm sorry I had to give this to you in two parts, but I got tired and had to make coffee. In a nutshell, we rented a car and I was granted permission from my wife to drive it to the gym.
     Why is it that the good old car key is no longer in fashion?  It is a trusty little tool and can be put to use in a number of ways, not just starting the car.  I use mine for cutting string.  Let's face it, the things come in handy, but the car we rented had a keyless entry/operation system.  It had "The Orb". Aliens had come during the night an had taken the keys and left "The Orb". What had I done to offend those good people on the home planet and why did they take the key to the rental car?.
     What do I do with this "Orb".  It has symbols on it, but what do they mean.  Where's my trusty spy decoder ring that I got in that box of Froot Loops back in 1969? I didn't think that I would ever have to use it, but it was worth a try. Let's see, what does this symbol mean--oh yes unlock.  This symbol means lock.  I think I've got it. The time has come to tackle my fears of technology and try to drive the rental car.  I can do this. It was time to go outside and become the master of the rental car, so I did.
     There it was, sitting in the driveway, nice and shiny. That was a stupid sentence.  Where else would it be, at the city dump?  Of course it is sitting in our driveway nice, new and shiny. It's a brand new rental car, which you can't fit in in your garage because the Taurus is in there and all the junk you are storing for everyone else in the world. Yes, you do detect a bit of anger in my voice, but I just don't want to talk about that.  Sorry I'm off subject again, back to my car rental story.
     After decoding the symbols on "The Orb" I went outside to the car and pressed the button that said "unlock".  I heard the click of the door lock engaging and I was cleared by the car gods to enter the car. I opened the door and immediately that new car smell hit me. The interior was beautiful and what can I say, new.  It had leather seats and all the options you could think of. The leather seats reminded me of that Chrysler Cordoba commercial that ran in the 1970's where Ricardo Maltaban says "Feel the rich, Corinthinan Leather" when he talked about the interior.  What is "Rich Corinthian Leather" anyway. The smell was wonderful, but it was time to get in and I was almost late for my workout.
      It was a sensory thrill when I finally sat in the car behind the wheel. I wondered to myself what it was going to be like to drive this puppy. I was ready. I didn't have to put a key in the ignition, there was no ignition.  What there was though was a button that said in red "Push To Start". It was time, so I pushed the button.  The car came alive, all the dials and gauges lit up.  I thought I was in the space shuttle and about to launch.  Oh, that's right. The space shuttle no longer exists. Maybe I was in a Soyuz capsule, but I couldn't be because everything was in English, not Russian. Through all of this, the car DID NOT start.
     Let's press the pretty red button again.  It says on it "Press To Start".  I pressed it again and guess what, NOTHING! What am I doing wrong?  I pressed the button again and nothing.  I had pretty lights on the dash of the gauges and such, but the thing didn't start. Let's try it again. The thing wouldn't start and I was getting a bit upset. At this point I was very late for my workout, so I said the heck with this, locked the car with "The Orb" and went back inside to get the keys to the Taurus.  Remember, I said keys.
     I opened the garage door, unlocked the door to the Taurus USING THE KEYS and got in.  I put the KEY in the IGNITION and she started right up. I backed out of the garage, closed the garage door and off to my workout I went.
     What do you mean I have to have my foot on the brake in the rental car before I press the pretty "start" button for it to start?
My 350Z had a key.  I miss that car.

   

















       

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

On Assorted Fruits--No, I'm Not Looking In The Mirror

     As you know, I like to pose questions to you.  I am concerned with exercising your brain the goal of which is helping you to get your brain functioning at its optimal level. Sometimes I just can't sleep at night with a healthy concern for that achievement of excellence as far your brainpower. It is a very tough burden to be sure, but I can shoulder the responsibility. After all, I'm here for you.
     That's a crock, I know but I had to write something to get this post started and you have grown to accept that kind of clever opening. Maybe I'm just a victim of my own success. To those of you in France and Poland, I don't want to explain the meaning of the American idiom "crock". If you have been following this blog for any amount of time, you will get a true sense of what I mean.
     Enough of this pitter-patter, let's cut to the chase. Ponder this question long and hard beloved readers as it is very important. What is a persimmon and why is it here?
     Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against persimmons. It's just that they make no sense. They are orange when ripe. I thought only oranges were orange when they turn ripe. Peaches do turn a shade of orange, but it's not called orange. It's called peach and there basically is more red in the color than yellow. But a peach is a peach and the color they turn is peach.  You can make pies out of peaches and a whole lot of other things.  What do you make out of persimmons? I've had a persimmon cookie, but yuck!
     A good friend of mine saw the persimmon tree in our back yard and that touched off a discussion on persimmons.  It seems as though there are two kinds of persimmons, hard and soft.  I did not know that. She said that the hard persimmons were good to eat of the tree and the soft persimmons were--well, soft. She said that she prefers the hard persimmons to eat but her mother tends to like the soft ones. I'm not sure of either.  You have to be just a bit different to eat a persimmon and enjoy it.  My friend plays the flute, by the way.
     I do know one thing about persimmons. They used to make golf clubs out of the wood. I actually played persimmon woods when I was younger.  The wood is hard, has a very tight grain and is very dense. By the way, the "wood" clubs played in golf used to be made out of wood just as the "iron" clubs used to be made out of iron. Now, the woods are made out of titanium or whatever exotic metals they use in airplanes or moonships and the irons are made out of steel or aluminum. Go figure. If you are a persimmon tree, you are pretty safe as far as golf is concerned.  I still don't like your fruit though.
    One last important thing to ponder in the scheme of all this.  Will they ever make a persimmon Froot Loop?  I don't think so.
I wonder if Marilyn Monroe ate persimmons? Hmmm....

Thursday, November 6, 2014

On A Serious Note

     I sat down this morning and wondered what I was going to bring to you this morning. My thought was that I would change the pace today a bit and write about something more on the serious side. I think that I am totally capable of doing that, although that seems to be totally out of character for me. The problem is coming up with something serious to write about.
     How about politics? No, I don't want to anger anyone.  That subject is becoming a bit more volatile, and what used to be just a difference of opinion has turned into almost a war between competing ideals. I won't go there. I want to make life a bit more bearable for my readers, not separate them. My goal is to comment and make you chuckle on the more mundane things of life. By the way, how do you put your shoes on?
     I suppose that I could talk about my daughter marrying the man of her dreams a couple of Saturdays ago.  I am very proud of her and of all my children.  I wish her and her new husband all the best of luck and God's blessings. I very much like and are proud of my three sons-in-law.  I feel that my daughters have married well.  Besides, my new son-in-law is a golf pro, not that he will take up a special place in my heart because of that.
     I could also talk about my wife and how blessed I am that God has sent her to me. She is the love of my life and I am very fortunate to share the rest of my life with her. At this point, that is all I'm going to say because there is much more to be said, so much more that this would be a very long post. She did find a formal dress for Saturday night by the way.
     One thing I did want to share but didn't know how I was going to do it was that I have changed the roast of my coffee.  I am drinking Kona Blend instead of French Roast. Sometimes change is good in one's life, so I went and made the change.  I will go back to French Roast as soon as the Kona Blend runs out, probably next week.  Wow, that was exciting and controversial.
     I hope all that was serious enough for you.
This doesn't have anything to do with today's post.  I just wanted to publish the picture because it is kind of cool.
 

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

The Shoe Is On The Wrong Foot--Or Maybe The Right Foot

     All you deep thinkers reading this, I have yet again something for you to think about.  Which shoe do you put on first?  I know this is not something that you stop to think about, you just kind of do it. Have you ever stopped to consider the motivations and underlying reasons as far as the way you complete that mundane task.  Remember, you may be taking your shoes on and off many times a day--or maybe not.
     Here is another thing that adds to this.  Which sock do you put on before you put your shoes on? Do you put both socks on before you put your shoes on, or do you put the sock and then the shoe on for the right foot and then repeat the process for the left foot. Are both socks on when you put your left shoe on or do you do one sock at a time starting with your left foot?  Maybe you don't wear socks, I don't know.
      I used to not wear socks until my wife got mad at me so now I do. I'm a people pleaser, you know. If it were up to me, I would wear sandals without socks year round. I would also wear shorts all year but it does get kind of cold here in our part of California.  Now, if I lived in San Diego that would be a totally different story. I like San Diego and hate wearing long pants and shoes. Being cold is a bad thing to me and I hate being cold. As a matter of fact, I hate wearing shoes and still walk to the mailbox barefoot. It's still warm enough here to do that.
     I wonder if there is something psychological about how you put your shoes and socks on--if you wear socks.  According to psychologists, psychiatrists and behavior theorists--I like that title, behavioral theorist--there is an underlying motive behind everything we do both consciously and unconsciously. I thank you Dr. Freud. Are you politically conservative if you put both your socks on at the same time and then put your right shoe on? Are you a communist if you put only your left sock on and then the left shoe, proceeding to repeat the process for the right foot? I'll bet you never thought about that one, did you?
    Excuse me, I'm going to work out at the gym now.  Where are my sneakers?  Let's see, which shoe do I put on first and are my socks on?
I hate shoes!
     

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Who Are These Circadians and Why Are They Being Mean To Us?

     For many of you on Earth, today is the day where we set the clocks back one hour.  It is, in fact, the end of daylight savings time at least here in the Pacific Time Zone.  Those of you in Arizona may totally disregard this post as you do not follow daylight savings. I'm not going to comment on whether or not that is a good thing because I do have a lot of good friends and readers in Arizona. It also makes me think they know something and we don't.  I think I will just leave it at that.
    The time change brings out those pesky little Circadians.  Who are the Circadians anyway and why are they tormenting us. Each Spring and Fall they try to pull tricks on us by really making life miserable with something called "The Circadian Rhythm". In Spring they take away an hour of sleep and then the sly suckers give it back to us in the Fall. This really makes our bodies go haywire. I understand being miserable in the Spring because of hay fever and such, so when you take away an hour's sleep I normally can adjust.  But in the Fall, there is less daylight and I suffer.  It confuses my mind, and most of you know that is an easy thing to do. It takes a couple of days to reboot my computer--uh brain.
      My wife is a musician and music teacher so I thought I would ask her about Circadian Rhythms and why they effect us so much.  Musicians know a lot about rhythm.  Her answer was very curious.  Should I be offended when she said to me, "That is the stupidest question I have ever heard.  Why are you asking me that?". She tells me that a lot, come to think of it.  I guess the search for knowledge has to march on, just not through my wife (I love you, Dear.)
      I think the Circadians are aliens from another planet.  I know this because I think I saw them on an episode of Star Trek. I don't remember which episode or if it was in one of the movies.  They might have been the villians on an episode of "Star Trek Enterprise" though.  Nobody watched that show anyway so maybe I'm wrong.  It may have been at an Enterprise Car Rental counter , who knows?  
I caught a picture of a Circadian.  They are a sly bunch and pretty foxy.
   

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Why Would Aliens Come Here

     You know, I think about a lot of crazy things.  They just keep coming.  I don't know why and I think it is part of my ADD. Many have questioned my sanity but at times that is what I have wanted.  I will assure you that I am sane, at least somewhat. I have stopped taking my medication, but that is a different story. Let's just say that my mind is very fertile, especially for growing tomatoes.
     Today, something very profound is bouncing around in my brain.  You remember the "superball" that rattles around in the empty metal room that is my brain?  Well, it is there bouncing off the walls at supersonic
 speed. The room is somewhere near the tomato field. I think they are beefsteak tomatoes and they are ripe.  At any rate, the thought is about ready to come out and here it is.  Why would aliens from another planet want to come to this little planet? What is in it for them?
     I don't want to get into the argument as to where the Earth and Universe came from. Who knows if the "Creationists" or "The Big Bang" theorists are right. To me, it is a matter of perspective.  If you look at things on face value--I didn't say  FaceBook, although this post will make it to FaceBook as well as Google+ and others where I hope my psychiatrist doesn't see it--the Earth is just this insignificant little rock circling a third rate furnace out in the middle of nowhere. Take a moment and think about that.
     Yes, there is what we consider intelligent life here on Earth although sometimes I wonder watching the lady light up a cigarette by the propane tank display.  Can't people read?  You would think that a red sign that says "NO SMOKING" right above her left shoulder would give her a hint.  The funny thing was that she was an employee of the store. Yep, there is intelligent life on this planet.
     This brings up another question.  If these aliens are so intelligent and far superior to us in their intellect and advanced technologies, do they ever watch our movies?  One can only look at Independence Day or Battleship to see that aliens always get their butts kicked. I am telling you, what is a matter with these people?  Oh, I forgot.  They are not people.
     Look what happened in the first "War of the Worlds".  Gene Barry was great in that one, wasn't he.  I like Gene Barry.  He was great in Bat Masterson and Burke's Law. Am I getting off the subject?
     In the first "War of the Worlds" we could not defend Earth against the aliens. They were from Mars by the way. It took the lack of immunity to our little bacteria and microbes to bring the mighty Martian war machine to its knees. If they are so smart, aliens have to know that we are a "dirty" planet filled with all kinds of nasty things. Don't come here aliens, you might be turned into cheese or yogurt. (That's a great line.  I'm very proud of it.)
     Why would aliens come here? I don't know.  Maybe it's just to get a great homegrown beefsteak tomato. Who knows?
That's the aliens hauling all their homegrown beefsteak tomatoes back to their home planet after visiting the store to buy yogurt.  Yes, I have had my coffee this morning.









Wednesday, October 29, 2014

I'm Sorry--It Just Has To Come Out Part Three

     Here it is folks, the final installment of I'm Sorry--It Just Has To Come Out. You have been waiting patiently for it, so I thought it was time.  The whole thing has taken way too long to write but I get distracted easily and sometimes things kind of get out of hand.  I thought I would take control back and write this. Are you ready?
     As a review I want to say again that most of my ideas come from somewhere just north of my liver.  I don't know how they form as science is still working on an explanation for that.  They just kind of happen.  This is one of those questions for the ages such as which comes first, the chicken or the egg.  At this point, they just kind of show up.  I have to be very careful though, because sometimes I mistake them for a bad reaction to something I ate the night before.
     The idea forms and begins to travel through the bloodstream up to the brain.  It's sort of like the little submarine on "The Fantastic Voyage". Did you see that movie"  It is one of my favorites. I was about fourteen when I saw it and I still think that Raquel Welch is one of the hottest women on the face of the planet. I can't forget her in that diving suit, WOW!  I better move on before I get myself in some serious trouble. Have I ever changes since I was fourteen--Let's just leave it at that.
     The idea travels up the body passing through the heart.  The little submarine couldn't go through the heart because of the serious turbulence that the heart causes which would destroy the little sub.  The idea is OK going through the heart because it is natural, not man made like the sub.  I think I watch too many movies.
     From the heart it makes its way to the brain where it bounces around like a "super ball" in a metal room.
You can just imagine what that feels like bouncing around in of my brain. How many of you know what a "super ball" is?  If you don't know and are not old enough to know, that statement kind of lost its punch.  I thought it was funny anyway.  At any rate it hurts bouncing around the empty metal room in my brain, so it has to come out.  I just can't keep it in. Either my brain tells my mouth to blurt it out or I write it down here in the blog.
     So now you know.  I thought I would share this with you before it got into the National Enquirer. I didn't want a scandal to break out.  Besides, I'm much more important than Kim Kardashian or the aliens that just landed in my back yard.  What do they want?  I think I am going to hide now, I think they want to take me home.
Just a few of the ideas that I have written about. Raquel Welch, WOW!  I'd like to see Fantastic Voyage again.