New Year's Holiday--Truly A Moving Experience

     I suppose that I could get all teary eyed over another year being completed, but I won't.  It was kind of a strange year.  I'm not going to go into the events of the year which had its ups and downs. Looking back it could be said that the year was a challenge in many ways but all in all it wasn't bad. Don't worry, I am not going to summarize the events of the year, but I will say that 2015 will be a moving year--literally.
     Come to think of it, 2014 was a moving year as well. It seems 2016 will also be a moving year. I don't like to move, but that's just the way it is sort of turning out. This is going to be the third move I will be making in the last two years. We are going to have to move again in 2016 as we are house sitting for a couple who will be out of the country for a year.  Honestly, I truly thank them for going for a year but I don't look forward to looking for a place to live once again in 2016. I pray that that move will be permanent.
     It can be said that rolling stones gather no moss. I must admit that I do hate yard work and round-up is my friend when it comes to weeds.  However, in the house we lived in for almost thirty-three years that I shared with my children and that woman--my ex--we did grow some things.  We grew tomatoes and had a couple of orange trees. I left that house for an apartment after the catastrophic event--divorce.  Happiness abounded at the apartment because I had no yard to take care of and I was living alone for a whole.  I did have a back yard, sort of, and would keep the weeds down by spraying round-up everywhere.
     I married again, to a wonderful woman I might add.  Of course, I moved out of the apartment and into a house together with my new bride.  We had trees there, but they were there when we moved in. The house was a rental, so you couldn't really count them as ours.  After less than a year at this address, my wife got a job in another city, so we moved again.
     We really like the place we are in now.  We almost like it too much, so we are moving.  This place has trees, fruit trees.  There is a peach tree, a cherry tree, a couple of apple trees, orange trees and a persimmon tree--I hate persimmons. But, they are still not our trees, but those of the landowner. This was a nice place, and we are sad to have to move. When you look at it philosophically, at least we are not being kicked out. That's a good thing, but it makes the whole move a bit bittersweet.
     So, on we go to other adventures and a new address.  This move is done by choice, not out of necessity. It will be a very interesting new year.
    I want to wish all my readers A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! Stay safe.

Yep, we are moving again making 2015 another moving experience. Same city though.

Press To Start--Part 2 ( I Promise)

     I have a problem with new cars and technology, especially at 5:30 in the morning when you want to go to the gym and have not had your coffee yet.  All this is explained in Part 1 so I please go there now and read Part 1 if you haven't already done so. I'm sorry I had to give this to you in two parts, but I got tired and had to make coffee. In a nutshell, we rented a car and I was granted permission from my wife to drive it to the gym.
     Why is it that the good old car key is no longer in fashion?  It is a trusty little tool and can be put to use in a number of ways, not just starting the car.  I use mine for cutting string.  Let's face it, the things come in handy, but the car we rented had a keyless entry/operation system.  It had "The Orb". Aliens had come during the night an had taken the keys and left "The Orb". What had I done to offend those good people on the home planet and why did they take the key to the rental car?.
     What do I do with this "Orb".  It has symbols on it, but what do they mean.  Where's my trusty spy decoder ring that I got in that box of Froot Loops back in 1969? I didn't think that I would ever have to use it, but it was worth a try. Let's see, what does this symbol mean--oh yes unlock.  This symbol means lock.  I think I've got it. The time has come to tackle my fears of technology and try to drive the rental car.  I can do this. It was time to go outside and become the master of the rental car, so I did.
     There it was, sitting in the driveway, nice and shiny. That was a stupid sentence.  Where else would it be, at the city dump?  Of course it is sitting in our driveway nice, new and shiny. It's a brand new rental car, which you can't fit in in your garage because the Taurus is in there and all the junk you are storing for everyone else in the world. Yes, you do detect a bit of anger in my voice, but I just don't want to talk about that.  Sorry I'm off subject again, back to my car rental story.
     After decoding the symbols on "The Orb" I went outside to the car and pressed the button that said "unlock".  I heard the click of the door lock engaging and I was cleared by the car gods to enter the car. I opened the door and immediately that new car smell hit me. The interior was beautiful and what can I say, new.  It had leather seats and all the options you could think of. The leather seats reminded me of that Chrysler Cordoba commercial that ran in the 1970's where Ricardo Maltaban says "Feel the rich, Corinthinan Leather" when he talked about the interior.  What is "Rich Corinthian Leather" anyway. The smell was wonderful, but it was time to get in and I was almost late for my workout.
      It was a sensory thrill when I finally sat in the car behind the wheel. I wondered to myself what it was going to be like to drive this puppy. I was ready. I didn't have to put a key in the ignition, there was no ignition.  What there was though was a button that said in red "Push To Start". It was time, so I pushed the button.  The car came alive, all the dials and gauges lit up.  I thought I was in the space shuttle and about to launch.  Oh, that's right. The space shuttle no longer exists. Maybe I was in a Soyuz capsule, but I couldn't be because everything was in English, not Russian. Through all of this, the car DID NOT start.
     Let's press the pretty red button again.  It says on it "Press To Start".  I pressed it again and guess what, NOTHING! What am I doing wrong?  I pressed the button again and nothing.  I had pretty lights on the dash of the gauges and such, but the thing didn't start. Let's try it again. The thing wouldn't start and I was getting a bit upset. At this point I was very late for my workout, so I said the heck with this, locked the car with "The Orb" and went back inside to get the keys to the Taurus.  Remember, I said keys.
     I opened the garage door, unlocked the door to the Taurus USING THE KEYS and got in.  I put the KEY in the IGNITION and she started right up. I backed out of the garage, closed the garage door and off to my workout I went.
     What do you mean I have to have my foot on the brake in the rental car before I press the pretty "start" button for it to start?

My 350Z had a key.  I miss that car.

   

















       

Many Happy Returns

     'Twas the day after Christmas and all though the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. They had all gone to the mall to return their Christmas gifts for a different size or something they really wanted. I found myself in the same boat.  Unfortunately, my lump of coal had a great big crack in it which would have caused it to break into pieces. I needed to return the black piece of million year decomposed dinosaur for a new one that was not defective. Where do you return a lump of coal?
     My first thought was to try Wal Mart.  They pretty much have everything. So I got up and braved the cold California December morning--temperatures were in the low 50's--and attempted to return the defective coal. I went into the store and discovered I was not the only one to have this idea. The line for "Returns" was out the door and wound its way three times around the building.  I'm not talking about just a regular Wal Mart either.  This was a super-duper mega huge Wal Mart.  I think the line was long enough to start in Los Angeles and follow I-5 all the way down to San Diego. It was then that I decided that returning that valued lump of coal may not be the best investment of my time today.
     As I was leaving, it struck me. I thought it was a truck at the time but it actually was an idea. Why don't I get in line and then make a sign that said that I would give up my place in line for $100. Sounds like a wonderful idea, doesn't it?  I thought so.
     This had a couple of advantages. First, if someone wanted my place in line as I got closer to the front of the line, I would make some cash for just waiting in line, return the coal some other day and make $100 in the bargain. If nobody wanted my place, I could still exchange my lump of coal for a new one--at least I hoped that Wal Mart carried coal.  This was truly a win-win situation. There I was, standing in line at Wal Mart carrying a sign that said "Will Give Up My Place In Line For $100".
     I got a lot of comments about my sign, but no takers.  I had to explain many times that I was not crazy even though those of you who know me know the truth about that statement.  Many though it was a wonderful idea, but I had no takers. The line kept moving forward and I was getting closer to the front of the line.  Surely I would have a taker soon.
     That was not to be.  There were no takers. After thinking about it, I decided I knew why.  I was at Wal Mart for goodness sake and no one going to Wal Mart would ever pay full price retail.  I decided to drop the price to $29.95 and see what happened. NOTHING!
      There was good news and bad news to this. The bad news was that even at $29.95 there were no takers on my offer.  I refused to discount my pricing as I was getting close to my profit margin evaporating. The good news was that I was getting closer to the front of the line and very soon I was there. My idea had not taken flight and actually was shot down by market forces that just didn't want my product or service.  I did take heart though because as I was pondering my huge entrepreneurial failure I found my self at the front of the line.
     I felt very much uplifted when the Wal Mart associate behind the returns counter finally said, "I can help the next person in line." I was there.
     "I would like to return this lump of coal, please." I said very politely.
     "I'm sorry, but we don't carry coal sir." she said calmly.
     At that point, I decided to keep the lump of coal. It did have character with its huge crack in the middle of the lump and learning a very important lesson on my entrepreneurial skills. After all, the lump of coal
was given to me as a special Christmas gift with love from someone special. Thank you my dear wife for the very loving thought and gift.

Does Home Depot sell coal?

         

It's Just That Simple

     Today's post is very simple.  I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas.  May peace and prosperity find your lives.  Please be safe whether you are traveling or just staying at home having your Christmas Feast with family and friends. Should you find yourself alone, you are truly never alone.  God Bless!

Merry Christmas to you all! God Bless.

Press To Start--Part 2 (Not Quite Yet)

     This was supposed to be Press To Start--Part 2, but that is not going to happen today.  Today has been one of those days, given that it is Christmas Eve. Let's just say that it has been one busy day and I was supposed to have written this about five hours ago.  Between the "honey do's" and company and other things that you do to get ready for Christmas Day, it has been one interruption after another.
     Don't worry though, the stuff I was going to write down is still bouncing around in my brain.  You remember the superball in the metal room don't you.  Remember, that superball has to come out and it will probably on Friday. It is Christmas Eve after all and you just have to be patient my child. Thank you France and Poland I miss you.
                                        To all of you, I want to wish you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 You might have been expecting some sort of Holiday picture, but unfortunately I don't have one. I hope to be kicking back soon to get ready for tomorrow's festivities but that's not going to happen for a while.

Press To Start--Part 1

    No it wont.  I guess I should explain that comment.  One thing you have to realize though is that we have a house guest and I haven't been able to grind my coffee to make it this morning so bear with me. I also could say bare with me but that would be too scary.  I can't believe I just said that. Oh well, remember I haven't had my coffee yet.
    Denise and I only have one car. We believe that the environment is sacred and to have two cars is not respecting the harmonious balance of nature. Another thing is to have two cars, let alone one, is an insult to those who are less privileged around the world and don't have a car.  Just think of all the pollution a second car belches out and throws into the pristine air we breathe. We choose to protect that air. That sure sounded good, didn't it? It's totally a bunch of baloney, but what the heck. The bottom line is we only have one car and if we both have somewhere to be we have to borrow or rent one.
     We rented a car for Denise yesterday because I had to go to an event in Fresno and she needed a car. It was a brand new Nissan Altima with all the bells and whistles. It had electronic and computerized everything.
In fact, I kind of get annoyed with how the new cars ding at you and that pretty voice keeps telling you what a stupid thing you just did with the car.  It is kind of like the gal that talks on the GPS monitor giving you directions. That's another story and I will get back to what I was going to say.  The old ADHD is kicking in again. At any rate, we rented the car for the day.  Denise drove the rental and I drove the Taurus to Fresno.      Tomorrow was Tuesday and this week Tuesday meant gym day.  Denise said that I could take the rental because I was also on the contract, so what the heck.  I was filled with a great expectation that I was going to try the spiffy new piece of road hardware out. I knew that it had all the bells, whistles, and  hot and cold running door knobs with everything being electronic and computerized. I think that was the problem. Those two little words electronic and computerized are supposed to make our lives easier--not mine. Needless to say, I was excited that I was going to drive this new example of modern technology.  The car had other ideas.
     When I grabbed the keys to go to the gym this morning I knew something just was not as it should be. That sort of feeling can spell disaster, especially at 4:30 in the morning BC--Before Coffee. When I grabbed the keys to go out to the car, there was no key. There were no keys on the key ring, just these small oblong orbs that had symbols on them.  Had aliens come during the middle of the night and played a trick on me by stealing the keys and leaving these orbs? What did the symbols mean?

I'm telling you, this baby was high tech.  It had hot and cold running door nobs and computerized electronic everything on it.

Let's Rock and Roll

     As my wife was leaving the house this morning she said to me, "I've got to roll."  That was a curious thing to say in that I don't think that she was going to get down on the floor and roll head over heals or side over side. That would have been an interesting sight.
     I understand what she meant, she was running late and had to get going on her way to work but it got the little wheels in my head rolling.  The mental image that popped into my head was of her somersaulting her way through the house from the bedroom through the hall into the kitchen and out the door into the garage with her final destination being the car. How was she going to carry her stuff to the car when she was rolling? She has a lot of stuff to carry.  I would have carried the stuff for her, but she is kind of territorial when it comes to her stuff for work.
     Why would you want to roll when you have two perfectly good feet that will take you anywhere you want to go by just putting one foot in front of another? If you get stuck with an obstacle in you path, it is very hard to roll over it.  Why not just step over it. You can if you are walking, but if you are rolling that is a different story. If you are rolling, you kind of just butt up against the obstacle and if the obstacle does not have an incline to roll up as in the case of a short wall, you are stuck   Think about that for a minute.
     What about when someone says "let's rock".  That causes its own set of problems. A rock has no way to move itself.  It depends on some outside source of motion in order to move. On its own, it is pretty much stuck where it is.
     Even if you are talking about rocking as a verb, you are still looking at a very stable "stay in one place" action that is very dependent on outside force. To "rock" means to go back and forth. When you rock, you go forward and then backward, ending up in the same place most of the time. As an illustration I bring to you a boat. A boat rocks from side to side and back to front.  I know this because I have been on a cruise.  My experiences also include deep sea fishing and we all know what rocking does on when you go deep sea fishing. There is also a lot of heaving and hurling, but that is another story.
      Now, just stop a moment and think about the things I just said.  If they make any sense to you, you are worse off than I thought. At least, that's what my wife keeps saying to me.

It may rock, but it sure as heck ain't gonna roll.

  

The Golf Course Travel Bag: Palm Springs In January

The Golf Course Travel Bag: Palm Springs In January

The Golf Course Travel Bag: Senior Tournament Day!

The Golf Course Travel Bag: Senior Tournament Day!

Zucchini--I'd Like To Squash It's Existence (Oh Come On, You Got To Admit That Was Funny)

     Who invented Zucchini squash in the first place?  It sounds like it was an irate Italian botanist who was trying to get back at the vegetable producing community because he was laughed at so much at their vegetable convention for inventing this ugly green tubular thing.  I don't know if it is obvious to you, but I hate zucchini.
     There is nothing I like about it.  I don't like it almost as much as I don't like persimmons.  I still wonder why persimmons were created in the first place.  The same goes true for zucchini. By the way, why do you put an "h" in the spelling of zucchini?  What good is it.  The Latin "double c" makes the "ch" sound anyway.  Was some English guy not sure of his--yes his, because this was probably the twelfth century--English grammar and spelling so he probably thought that it would be wise to put and "h" in zucchini after doubling the "c"? I don't know, I wasn't there. We also don't what he was drinking either. You probably realize that they didn't have dictionaries back then either. That English bloke probably was inventing one.
     I still hate zucchini. That hatred comes from out of my childhood. My parents were of Mediterranean ancestry--Dad was Greek and Mom was Italian, well Albanian by way of Italy actually but that is a different story--so like good Mediterranean homes, we had a garden.  In that garden were peppers and tomatoes as well as--you guessed it--zucchini. Have you ever grown zucchini?  It is the rabbit of the plant family.  For you Star Trek fans, it is the Tribble of the plant family. When the zucchini ripens there is so much of it.  I think you could feed half of China on the zucchini growing on one plant.  Those of you who have had that experience of ripening zucchini know what I'm talking about.
     Mom would make zucchini in ways that I don't know if even the CIA has discovered. We had it fried, baked, added to spaghetti sauce and in Zucchini Parmesan. By the way, I do like eggplant but zucchini Parmesan.  I place that in my "I don't think so" file. She baked zucchini bread and also boiled it with butter on top.YUCK!!!! We had zucchini coming out of our ears.  I wish it was corn, but no it was zucchini. I HATE ZUCCHINI!
     I have got to run now.  I am on my way out the door to travel to San Luis Obispo, California.  They have this bakery there that bakes some wonderful breads.  They make a chocolate zucchini bread that is to die for.  What can I say?

There's no zucchini in these cupcakes, is there?

On Assorted Fruits--No, I'm Not Looking In The Mirror

     As you know, I like to pose questions to you.  I am concerned with exercising your brain the goal of which is helping you to get your brain functioning at its optimal level. Sometimes I just can't sleep at night with a healthy concern for that achievement of excellence as far your brainpower. It is a very tough burden to be sure, but I can shoulder the responsibility. After all, I'm here for you.
     That's a crock, I know but I had to write something to get this post started and you have grown to accept that kind of clever opening. Maybe I'm just a victim of my own success. To those of you in France and Poland, I don't want to explain the meaning of the American idiom "crock". If you have been following this blog for any amount of time, you will get a true sense of what I mean.
     Enough of this pitter-patter, let's cut to the chase. Ponder this question long and hard beloved readers as it is very important. What is a persimmon and why is it here?
     Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against persimmons. It's just that they make no sense. They are orange when ripe. I thought only oranges were orange when they turn ripe. Peaches do turn a shade of orange, but it's not called orange. It's called peach and there basically is more red in the color than yellow. But a peach is a peach and the color they turn is peach.  You can make pies out of peaches and a whole lot of other things.  What do you make out of persimmons? I've had a persimmon cookie, but yuck!
     A good friend of mine saw the persimmon tree in our back yard and that touched off a discussion on persimmons.  It seems as though there are two kinds of persimmons, hard and soft.  I did not know that. She said that the hard persimmons were good to eat of the tree and the soft persimmons were--well, soft. She said that she prefers the hard persimmons to eat but her mother tends to like the soft ones. I'm not sure of either.  You have to be just a bit different to eat a persimmon and enjoy it.  My friend plays the flute, by the way.
     I do know one thing about persimmons. They used to make golf clubs out of the wood. I actually played persimmon woods when I was younger.  The wood is hard, has a very tight grain and is very dense. By the way, the "wood" clubs played in golf used to be made out of wood just as the "iron" clubs used to be made out of iron. Now, the woods are made out of titanium or whatever exotic metals they use in airplanes or moonships and the irons are made out of steel or aluminum. Go figure. If you are a persimmon tree, you are pretty safe as far as golf is concerned.  I still don't like your fruit though.
    One last important thing to ponder in the scheme of all this.  Will they ever make a persimmon Froot Loop?  I don't think so.

I wonder if Marilyn Monroe ate persimmons? Hmmm....

The Golf Course Travel Bag: Pheasent Run Chowchilla, California

On A Serious Note

     I sat down this morning and wondered what I was going to bring to you this morning. My thought was that I would change the pace today a bit and write about something more on the serious side. I think that I am totally capable of doing that, although that seems to be totally out of character for me. The problem is coming up with something serious to write about.
     How about politics? No, I don't want to anger anyone.  That subject is becoming a bit more volatile, and what used to be just a difference of opinion has turned into almost a war between competing ideals. I won't go there. I want to make life a bit more bearable for my readers, not separate them. My goal is to comment and make you chuckle on the more mundane things of life. By the way, how do you put your shoes on?
     I suppose that I could talk about my daughter marrying the man of her dreams a couple of Saturdays ago.  I am very proud of her and of all my children.  I wish her and her new husband all the best of luck and God's blessings. I very much like and are proud of my three sons-in-law.  I feel that my daughters have married well.  Besides, my new son-in-law is a golf pro, not that he will take up a special place in my heart because of that.
     I could also talk about my wife and how blessed I am that God has sent her to me. She is the love of my life and I am very fortunate to share the rest of my life with her. At this point, that is all I'm going to say because there is much more to be said, so much more that this would be a very long post. She did find a formal dress for Saturday night by the way.
     One thing I did want to share but didn't know how I was going to do it was that I have changed the roast of my coffee.  I am drinking Kona Blend instead of French Roast. Sometimes change is good in one's life, so I went and made the change.  I will go back to French Roast as soon as the Kona Blend runs out, probably next week.  Wow, that was exciting and controversial.
     I hope all that was serious enough for you.

This doesn't have anything to do with today's post.  I just wanted to publish the picture because it is kind of cool.

 

The Golf Course Travel Bag: Pheasent Run Chowchilla, California

The Shoe Is On The Wrong Foot--Or Maybe The Right Foot

     All you deep thinkers reading this, I have yet again something for you to think about.  Which shoe do you put on first?  I know this is not something that you stop to think about, you just kind of do it. Have you ever stopped to consider the motivations and underlying reasons as far as the way you complete that mundane task.  Remember, you may be taking your shoes on and off many times a day--or maybe not.
     Here is another thing that adds to this.  Which sock do you put on before you put your shoes on? Do you put both socks on before you put your shoes on, or do you put the sock and then the shoe on for the right foot and then repeat the process for the left foot. Are both socks on when you put your left shoe on or do you do one sock at a time starting with your left foot?  Maybe you don't wear socks, I don't know.
      I used to not wear socks until my wife got mad at me so now I do. I'm a people pleaser, you know. If it were up to me, I would wear sandals without socks year round. I would also wear shorts all year but it does get kind of cold here in our part of California.  Now, if I lived in San Diego that would be a totally different story. I like San Diego and hate wearing long pants and shoes. Being cold is a bad thing to me and I hate being cold. As a matter of fact, I hate wearing shoes and still walk to the mailbox barefoot. It's still warm enough here to do that.
     I wonder if there is something psychological about how you put your shoes and socks on--if you wear socks.  According to psychologists, psychiatrists and behavior theorists--I like that title, behavioral theorist--there is an underlying motive behind everything we do both consciously and unconsciously. I thank you Dr. Freud. Are you politically conservative if you put both your socks on at the same time and then put your right shoe on? Are you a communist if you put only your left sock on and then the left shoe, proceeding to repeat the process for the right foot? I'll bet you never thought about that one, did you?
    Excuse me, I'm going to work out at the gym now.  Where are my sneakers?  Let's see, which shoe do I put on first and are my socks on?

I hate shoes!

     

Who Are These Circadians and Why Are They Being Mean To Us?

     For many of you on Earth, today is the day where we set the clocks back one hour.  It is, in fact, the end of daylight savings time at least here in the Pacific Time Zone.  Those of you in Arizona may totally disregard this post as you do not follow daylight savings. I'm not going to comment on whether or not that is a good thing because I do have a lot of good friends and readers in Arizona. It also makes me think they know something and we don't.  I think I will just leave it at that.
    The time change brings out those pesky little Circadians.  Who are the Circadians anyway and why are they tormenting us. Each Spring and Fall they try to pull tricks on us by really making life miserable with something called "The Circadian Rhythm". In Spring they take away an hour of sleep and then the sly suckers give it back to us in the Fall. This really makes our bodies go haywire. I understand being miserable in the Spring because of hay fever and such, so when you take away an hour's sleep I normally can adjust.  But in the Fall, there is less daylight and I suffer.  It confuses my mind, and most of you know that is an easy thing to do. It takes a couple of days to reboot my computer--uh brain.
      My wife is a musician and music teacher so I thought I would ask her about Circadian Rhythms and why they effect us so much.  Musicians know a lot about rhythm.  Her answer was very curious.  Should I be offended when she said to me, "That is the stupidest question I have ever heard.  Why are you asking me that?". She tells me that a lot, come to think of it.  I guess the search for knowledge has to march on, just not through my wife (I love you, Dear.)
      I think the Circadians are aliens from another planet.  I know this because I think I saw them on an episode of Star Trek. I don't remember which episode or if it was in one of the movies.  They might have been the villians on an episode of "Star Trek Enterprise" though.  Nobody watched that show anyway so maybe I'm wrong.  It may have been at an Enterprise Car Rental counter , who knows?  

I caught a picture of a Circadian.  They are a sly bunch and pretty foxy.

   

Why Would Aliens Come Here

     You know, I think about a lot of crazy things.  They just keep coming.  I don't know why and I think it is part of my ADD. Many have questioned my sanity but at times that is what I have wanted.  I will assure you that I am sane, at least somewhat. I have stopped taking my medication, but that is a different story. Let's just say that my mind is very fertile, especially for growing tomatoes.
     Today, something very profound is bouncing around in my brain.  You remember the "superball" that rattles around in the empty metal room that is my brain?  Well, it is there bouncing off the walls at supersonic
 speed. The room is somewhere near the tomato field. I think they are beefsteak tomatoes and they are ripe.  At any rate, the thought is about ready to come out and here it is.  Why would aliens from another planet want to come to this little planet? What is in it for them?
     I don't want to get into the argument as to where the Earth and Universe came from. Who knows if the "Creationists" or "The Big Bang" theorists are right. To me, it is a matter of perspective.  If you look at things on face value--I didn't say  FaceBook, although this post will make it to FaceBook as well as Google+ and others where I hope my psychiatrist doesn't see it--the Earth is just this insignificant little rock circling a third rate furnace out in the middle of nowhere. Take a moment and think about that.
     Yes, there is what we consider intelligent life here on Earth although sometimes I wonder watching the lady light up a cigarette by the propane tank display.  Can't people read?  You would think that a red sign that says "NO SMOKING" right above her left shoulder would give her a hint.  The funny thing was that she was an employee of the store. Yep, there is intelligent life on this planet.
     This brings up another question.  If these aliens are so intelligent and far superior to us in their intellect and advanced technologies, do they ever watch our movies?  One can only look at Independence Day or Battleship to see that aliens always get their butts kicked. I am telling you, what is a matter with these people?  Oh, I forgot.  They are not people.
     Look what happened in the first "War of the Worlds".  Gene Barry was great in that one, wasn't he.  I like Gene Barry.  He was great in Bat Masterson and Burke's Law. Am I getting off the subject?
     In the first "War of the Worlds" we could not defend Earth against the aliens. They were from Mars by the way. It took the lack of immunity to our little bacteria and microbes to bring the mighty Martian war machine to its knees. If they are so smart, aliens have to know that we are a "dirty" planet filled with all kinds of nasty things. Don't come here aliens, you might be turned into cheese or yogurt. (That's a great line.  I'm very proud of it.)
     Why would aliens come here? I don't know.  Maybe it's just to get a great homegrown beefsteak tomato. Who knows?

That's the aliens hauling all their homegrown beefsteak tomatoes back to their home planet after visiting the store to buy yogurt.  Yes, I have had my coffee this morning.

I'm Sorry--It Just Has To Come Out Part Three

     Here it is folks, the final installment of I'm Sorry--It Just Has To Come Out. You have been waiting patiently for it, so I thought it was time.  The whole thing has taken way too long to write but I get distracted easily and sometimes things kind of get out of hand.  I thought I would take control back and write this. Are you ready?
     As a review I want to say again that most of my ideas come from somewhere just north of my liver.  I don't know how they form as science is still working on an explanation for that.  They just kind of happen.  This is one of those questions for the ages such as which comes first, the chicken or the egg.  At this point, they just kind of show up.  I have to be very careful though, because sometimes I mistake them for a bad reaction to something I ate the night before.
     The idea forms and begins to travel through the bloodstream up to the brain.  It's sort of like the little submarine on "The Fantastic Voyage". Did you see that movie"  It is one of my favorites. I was about fourteen when I saw it and I still think that Raquel Welch is one of the hottest women on the face of the planet. I can't forget her in that diving suit, WOW!  I better move on before I get myself in some serious trouble. Have I ever changes since I was fourteen--Let's just leave it at that.
     The idea travels up the body passing through the heart.  The little submarine couldn't go through the heart because of the serious turbulence that the heart causes which would destroy the little sub.  The idea is OK going through the heart because it is natural, not man made like the sub.  I think I watch too many movies.
     From the heart it makes its way to the brain where it bounces around like a "super ball" in a metal room.
You can just imagine what that feels like bouncing around in of my brain. How many of you know what a "super ball" is?  If you don't know and are not old enough to know, that statement kind of lost its punch.  I thought it was funny anyway.  At any rate it hurts bouncing around the empty metal room in my brain, so it has to come out.  I just can't keep it in. Either my brain tells my mouth to blurt it out or I write it down here in the blog.
     So now you know.  I thought I would share this with you before it got into the National Enquirer. I didn't want a scandal to break out.  Besides, I'm much more important than Kim Kardashian or the aliens that just landed in my back yard.  What do they want?  I think I am going to hide now, I think they want to take me home.

Just a few of the ideas that I have written about. Raquel Welch, WOW!  I'd like to see Fantastic Voyage again.