I Have Got to Stop Eating Brussel Sprouts!

     Yes, I admit that I do like Brussel Sprouts.  The little cabbages taste great steamed with a little garlic powder and just a touch of bacon grease. Just a touch of bacon grease for flavor mind you because you want to give them a bit of flavor but not cancel out their nutritional value with added fats. However, they don't like me. They do strange things to me, and I guess my body reacts rather harshly to something so healthy being allowed to enter it. I ate the brussel sprouts for dinner last night with some strange results.
     I went to bed sort of early last night. I had a very busy day and was very tired so off to bed I went. As far as I know, my sleep was very deep.  What happened during the night was unexpected as I snored away. It had to be the brussel sprouts.
     Many people don't recall the dreams they have during their night's sleep. I can remember many of them and last night's journey into my subconscious was just such an occassion. This morning, I vividly recall my nocturnal movie and it was strange. The brussel sprouts had struck again. Let me describe the event to you.
     I am a city boy.  To me, a farm animal is only seen at the county fair in the fields grazing on grass or smelled in the dairies along the highway. The supermarket is where I deal with farm animals and bowing to the respects of animal activists, that is all I will say. Enter the scourge of the brussel sprout.
     The dream opened with me parking a pickup truck by the Fresno State animal farm.  Why there I have no idea.  I broke down the fence and proceeded to acquire a cow, for what I still do not know. Things kind of got out of hand from there and a lot of the dream is a blur.  However, I do remember confiscating two cows and putting them into the truck. They didn't want to go, needless to say.  The fun began.
     I am not a cowboy, I can make that statement with complete clarity and conviction.  Can you imagine this non-cowboy trying to wrangle cows? If I didn't dream it, I wouldn't have believed it myself.  It was quite comical actually, if I say so myself. What a sight, and I suppose that I could have laughed myself awake right then and there but I wanted to see how this was going to pan out. To make matters worse, as I was dealing with the cows, someone stole the pickup truck.
     Now, the sheep were becoming interested in what was happening.  They came over and found the fence down and thought it to be a good idea to explore the community around them. I tried to round them up and put them back inside the fence and grabbed them by the hindquarters trying to steer them back inside the fence, because that is what I heard was the best way to herd sheep. It was a mess.
     It didn't take long before the car with the red and blue flashing lights to show up.  The nice man, who was carrying a gun and had a badge, came up with a very strange look on his face.
     "May I ask what you are doing?" he questioned me.
     "Uh, I don't know." I replied to his fair question.  I couldn't tell him this was all a dream, I think I would have woken up.  I didn't want to do that because this was so entertaining.
      "You are under arrest," he said and handcuffed me with dream handcuffs and carting me off to the campus police department in his police cruiser with the dream lights flashing.
       Here I was interviewed.  They checked my record, which was clear and the detective came out laughing.  They told me that they were going to let me go because this was just to crazy to believe. I am old and the story was too outlandish so they weren't going to press charges. The story they came up with to cover me was that I had noticed that the fence had come down and I stopped to get the animals back inside the fence. The truck was stolen in the process and the thief drove off having corralled two cows onto the truck.  An APB was put out for the truck.  I went from thief to good Samaritan who had an unfortunate experience.

I know this is not a cow.  It is not even a sheep.  These are the only pictures of farm animals I have.  Give me a break.

     My ordeal ended and the case was closed, especially after I awoke in a cold sweat. This is all a true story, and it will be a long time before I eat brussel sprouts again.  It happened before, it will happen again should I give in to the urge to eat brussel sprouts.