Silly Questions

     I love people.  One of my favorite things about people is that they do some strange things.  It adds to the spice of life and we all do it.  Here is my testimony that this is true and it involves me. OK, you can ask if this is something new and we all know this is not rare with me.  I do some strange things, but I enjoy life.
     I was going to have coffee with my son.  Our time was especially early this particular morning so I wanted him to be ready at 6:45 A.M. Normally he is not up when I call to see if he is awake.  I called, and he answered the phone.
       "Hi Dad." he said when he answered the phone.
      Are you ready?  Here it comes, and if you are not thinking about this you might miss this. This was my answer.
      "Hi Zack, are you awake?"  I asked him.  I think my asnwer speaks volumes and I will let you think about it a bit.    

Technology...Our Friend II

     It has been a few days now that I have had my new phone.  I must admit that my comfort level is growing in using it.  They call it a "Smart Phone" and actually it is an amazing device.  My biggest concern is not the actual device, but the gigantic mainframe in which the phone inputs.  I am not talking about the mechanical, electrical system in which the phone accesses, I am referring to the biological computer in which the phone serves.  We are talking about "Smart Phone" verses "Not-So-Smart Human Operator", meaning me.
     Just a minute, I have to make a call.  It's dialing, just like a regular phone. 
     "Hello, is this Don?....No, Don...What, you can't understand me...I am trying to call Don, who are you?...What?...Your English is not so good?...What do you mean, your English is not so good. Who is this and where are you?...Yaslav Karazlwzsedgtchewseski?  Where do you live?...Warsaw, Poland?  Oh, Sorry I dialed a wrong number...I love Polish Sausage...not so hot on cabbage rolls...Sorry to have bothered you."
     Oops, wrong number and maybe I should take a longer look at the owners manual.       

It's Watching

     As I shared yesterday, I bought a Smart Phone.  I don't know, but I think it is watching me. This thing has an intelligence that I am not sure of.  It makes sounds as if it were not a piece of microchips and hardware, but truly alive. I don't know what it has on its mind. Is it communicating with some far off central brain which is conspiring to abduct me and wisk me off to their home planet to serve in their salt mines as a slave? If you don't hear from me again...some would say this is a good thing...then that is the case. 

Transitions...Good-bye Old Friend, Hello New Friend

     As I wrote about yesterday, I am a man in transition.  I thought yesterday could be a day where I celebrated those life changes.  The first thing to do to demonstrate my newly embracing change was to say good-bye to an old friend.  It was time to give up my simple flip phone and upgrade to an I-phone.  You have no idea what a change this was.
     It is my opinion that a phone is for talking to people by voice.  It was a huge change for me just to use my phone to text.  I truly had to ask myself if I really want to get stock quotations on my phone? How important is it that I am in constant contact with my friends on Facebook? I thought a radio was for music and news. Do I really need all the stuff that a new phone provides? Oh well, out with the old and in with the new, just for the sake of change.  I can understand how horses felt.
     I was confident when I went into the AT&T store.  I was going to get the new phone.  I had and upgrade coming and I was going to use it.  My flip phone knew what was coming, and was awful quiet.  I didn't hear anything from it, not even a da-ding.  I think it was truly mad at me.  Before we left for the store, it pleaded with me saying that it was still very dependable and durable. Tough love had to rule the day, as I had explained to it that it was getting old and I was not just throwing it away, I was giving it an honorable retirement.  I praised it and thanked it for its noble service and dependability.  It was time that it took an hard-earned retirement.  It wasn't buying any of this.
     I entered the AT&T store extremely confident and with great expectations.  The display of smart phones caught my eye.  Emotions filled me with regret and the concern.  My flip phone is good enough for me, why do I need to change?  Is this trip really necessary?
     Tiffany, the AT&T representative was very caring and helpful.  She talked to me about the advantages of a smart phone and did not push for me to change.  She totally understood that my flip phone had been like a member of the family for a very long time.  I could tell the respect she had for this instrument of friendship and service by the way she took it when I gave it to her.  She looked at it and said to it, "We are going to give you a dignified and well deserved retirement. You have served well.  You have a wonderful and glorious time ahead of you."
     I was past the point of no return. It was time to move on with my life and to give my flip phone rest.  Farewell trusted servant, and into a new age for me. 


  

Transitions

     Life is about transitions.  How we deal with those transitions is a good indicator of our personalities and character.  With transitions one is faced with a number of choices, and basically those choices are life and death.  These life and death choices are not neccessarily in the literal sense but can be emotional, they are nevertheless critical to our well being.  What choices we make in this transitional state can literally mean life and living it to the fullest, or death.  By death I mean not getting out of life the wonders and good things that life has for us.
     I am in a very difficult transitional state.  The choices are very real to me but my path is clear.  I can choose a life of "death".  The things in my life that were can rule my life and I can choose to be in a perpetual state of mourning for those things that were.  Many people I know have chosen to dwell in that place.  I can look back at my past and say with a great amount of sadness that all that is dead.  My past is just a fond memory  and nothing else.  I have nothing ahead of me, because I cannot relive my past.  It is all gone, my life is gone.
     I REFUSE TO THINK THAT WAY!!! My future is ahead of me.  Bring it on.  I am alive and there is much ahead of me.  I am going to grab for all the life I can...I have plans and God has plans for me.  I will get through this transitional time, there is too much in store that is good on the other side. Here's to that other side.
    
   

Technology...Our Friend?

     I am going to admit it.  It seems as though I have admitted to a lot in this blog, but I guess there is a flaw somewhere in my character.  Confession is good for the soul and also makes for some interesting and humorous postings.  It may also come from my Catholic childhood upbringing, which even now influences me.  I feel guilty for a lot of things, many of which I have nothing to do with. 
     I am not picking on Catholics, in fact I am proud that I was brought up as a Catholic.  It still influences me today in a good number of positive ways.  In fact, even though I now attend a Presbyterian Church in the back of my mind I still think of myself as Catholic. If I have offended anyone, it makes me feel so guilty and I apologize.  I hope I have not dug a hole too deep that I cannot get out of it. 
     Since I am in the guilt and apology mode, I must confess to something and apoligize to you for it.  If you are ready, here it comes. I know that the title of today's blog is Technology...Our Friend, but my mind and my ADD went off on a tangent in a completely different direction.  If I have confused you or have offended you or in any way shape or form, made you feel bad or slighted, I feel guilty and want to apologize.  Please accept that heart felt and genuine apology...That felt great.

Of Clothes and Keys

     I am truly enjoying the finer things of living in an apartment by myself.  There are many mundane tasks that one has to do when in this condition and that is washing clothes.  One major destination only steps from my door that I have discovered is the laundry room.  It is truly an incredible place, and I derive so much satisfaction and fulfillment each time I wash a load of clothes.  There is power in this.
     One fear strikes deep into my heart, and I became very much aware of this fear yesterday as I was doing my wash.  This fear is so intense that it prevented me from falling off into my normal deep sleep last night.  It was a nightmare, one of which I hope never comes to pass.  It even sends chills down my spine thinking of the scenario as I write this.
      Here is the thought.  The laundry room requires a key to get into it and the door closes behind you and locks after you go into the room.  That's OK, but what happens if you leave your keys on a machine after loading it?  You place the keys on top of the washing machine or dryer because your hands are full.  You place the wash in the machine and start it, then walk off leaving your keys on the machine.  You leave the room and your keys are locked up.  How do you get back to the laundry room to get your keys?
     Now what?  I can't go back into my apartment because being security conscious and taking the advice of the apartmanet management, I have locked my apartment door.  To make matters worse, there is not a manager on site on Sunday.  I cannot call anyone because I am in my sweats and my cell phone is locked up in my apartment. You can see just how much of a potential problem this could be.
     It is great to have clean clothes and to be back in my apartment sipping a freshly brewed cup of coffee.
My brain will just have to be more conscious of potential disasters.

Gee, But Its Great To Be Back Home

     I have to apologize to Simon and Garfunkel for stealing that line.  In this case, it is totally appropriate.  It is great to be back home after a time in the desert.  It was time alone well spent, but I am glad to be back.
     One thing that really made me feel back at home.  Don't get me wrong there are many things that make my apartment my home but I noticed one thing this morning that particularly struck out.  I use the pink packets to sweeten my coffee.  I don't like the blue and what the heck is in those yellow packets?  You cannot imagine the comfort of going to your cupboard when you are half asleep and have just made the coffee knowing that you can depend on the fact that you will be able to sweeten your coffee with the pick packet. 
     Speaking of making coffee, I didn't take my coffee grinder.  There wasn't one at the condo I was staying at either.  I had to buy pre-ground coffee.  I had to mathmatically calculate how much coffee to use to make my coffee just right.  Like all things when you are on vacation, it took me until the last day to finally figure out the correct mix.  The first day, the coffee melted my spoon and the manager asked if he could use it to paint one of the condos.  The next day, it was almost see through with just a whisp of coffee flavor..colored water actually, or maybe I had discovered a new gourmet treat. 
     The coffee maker was another thing.  All I want to do is make coffee.  At home, I fill the water,grind the beans, put in a coffee filter...most of the time...put in the ground beans, close the lid and then push the brew button.  I don't even set the clock on my coffee maker.  I looked at the coffee maker at the condo and said has NASA called for their missing part?  I read the directions and wondered if I was going to get coffee or breaking down the atoms in water to provide the world with cheap, renewable energy.  Come on people, its a coffee maker.
    Yes, I am home.  My coffee maker made my coffee...I even put a filter in.  I put a packet of pink sweetner into it with whole milk and all is right with the world.

I'm OK...Most of the Time

     I have become much more at home with myself.  I think Popeye said it best when he said "I yam what I yam."  It is a great feeling to finally know who you are, or at least well on your way to that place of knowing.  I will never be "there" but it is a good feeling knowing where I am at right now. The "me" that is now is far happier than the "me" that was.
     Don't get me wrong.  There is a lot of room for me to grow and that growth will never stop.  One thing is for certain and that is to keep on giving.  This is not a giving to meet the expectations of or to please others. It is also not giving in just to avoid a confrontation. This  is giving to make others happy within reason and with little or no motivation on my part.
     I know in the last two posts I have been a little self reflective.  My humor has really not come out, but I feel that I had to share this with you.  Thank you for being with me.     

Forever Young: No, Just Enjoy Again

     The world is coming back into focus in a new and wonderous way.  For the longest time I had forgotten who I am and was kind of mired in a thick and heavy mud of doubt.  I had forgotten just what kind of experiences that were out there that I had been missing or had never tried. All I can say is I AM ALIVE!!!!
     I feel like a kid again.  No, I am not going through a second childhood...far from that.  What I am experiencing is the "me" that I had never seen.  I know that that statement may seem selfish and self-centered but it is more than that.  I have discovered  and rediscovered parts of me that I have never seen or that have been long forgotten.
     I have found the true joy of giving.  That joy comes form the giving and not in what comes back in return or for whatever motives.  It is a true giving of time, talents, self and love...financially and emotionally.  The action of giving without any expectations in return is the true source of happiness.  Love given, without any sort of motive, gives true meaning to this life and is the source of fullfillment. 
     I have rediscovered my creativity and artistic self.  That has been hidden and discouraged for far too long.  There is nothing like performing an opera or singing in a  100 voice choior.  My sense of humor is back, and in fact some around me wish it would go away again...No Way!  I have that fire in me once again to write.  It is so beautiful and inspirational to just watch the sun come up in the morning. That is just a part of this creative and artistic side.
     I have become adventurous again.  Look out rollercoasters, here I come!  What new experience, within reason of course, can I find today.  How can I reconnect with old adventures from the past that I have left on the table of life? 
     I have come to grips with getting older.  That doesn't mean that I should just fold up the tent and go away.  No, I will never be forever young.  I will be able to contiue to experience life to it's fullest. 




  

Just Like McArthur, I Have Returned

     A writer needs some time to get away and refresh his or her batteries.  I have decided that I have been away far too long from this blog and am beginning to post again.  It is time again.
     The Sillarian posts were fun.  I enjoyed reaching into the deep recesses of my brain and to some of the most off the wall situations that I could come up with.  I don't know if you enjoyed that turn in my writing, and it will turn up on occassion.  If you didn't get a chuckle out of that series, I won't hold it against you.  I thank you for following me. 
     I am back and will be posting again.  I am refreshed and am excited about the process of writing.  Sit back and keep coming, because here I come.  By the way, Torvac wants me to tell you hello.