Why Would Aliens Come Here

     You know, I think about a lot of crazy things.  They just keep coming.  I don't know why and I think it is part of my ADD. Many have questioned my sanity but at times that is what I have wanted.  I will assure you that I am sane, at least somewhat. I have stopped taking my medication, but that is a different story. Let's just say that my mind is very fertile, especially for growing tomatoes.
     Today, something very profound is bouncing around in my brain.  You remember the "superball" that rattles around in the empty metal room that is my brain?  Well, it is there bouncing off the walls at supersonic
 speed. The room is somewhere near the tomato field. I think they are beefsteak tomatoes and they are ripe.  At any rate, the thought is about ready to come out and here it is.  Why would aliens from another planet want to come to this little planet? What is in it for them?
     I don't want to get into the argument as to where the Earth and Universe came from. Who knows if the "Creationists" or "The Big Bang" theorists are right. To me, it is a matter of perspective.  If you look at things on face value--I didn't say  FaceBook, although this post will make it to FaceBook as well as Google+ and others where I hope my psychiatrist doesn't see it--the Earth is just this insignificant little rock circling a third rate furnace out in the middle of nowhere. Take a moment and think about that.
     Yes, there is what we consider intelligent life here on Earth although sometimes I wonder watching the lady light up a cigarette by the propane tank display.  Can't people read?  You would think that a red sign that says "NO SMOKING" right above her left shoulder would give her a hint.  The funny thing was that she was an employee of the store. Yep, there is intelligent life on this planet.
     This brings up another question.  If these aliens are so intelligent and far superior to us in their intellect and advanced technologies, do they ever watch our movies?  One can only look at Independence Day or Battleship to see that aliens always get their butts kicked. I am telling you, what is a matter with these people?  Oh, I forgot.  They are not people.
     Look what happened in the first "War of the Worlds".  Gene Barry was great in that one, wasn't he.  I like Gene Barry.  He was great in Bat Masterson and Burke's Law. Am I getting off the subject?
     In the first "War of the Worlds" we could not defend Earth against the aliens. They were from Mars by the way. It took the lack of immunity to our little bacteria and microbes to bring the mighty Martian war machine to its knees. If they are so smart, aliens have to know that we are a "dirty" planet filled with all kinds of nasty things. Don't come here aliens, you might be turned into cheese or yogurt. (That's a great line.  I'm very proud of it.)
     Why would aliens come here? I don't know.  Maybe it's just to get a great homegrown beefsteak tomato. Who knows?

That's the aliens hauling all their homegrown beefsteak tomatoes back to their home planet after visiting the store to buy yogurt.  Yes, I have had my coffee this morning.

I'm Sorry--It Just Has To Come Out Part Three

     Here it is folks, the final installment of I'm Sorry--It Just Has To Come Out. You have been waiting patiently for it, so I thought it was time.  The whole thing has taken way too long to write but I get distracted easily and sometimes things kind of get out of hand.  I thought I would take control back and write this. Are you ready?
     As a review I want to say again that most of my ideas come from somewhere just north of my liver.  I don't know how they form as science is still working on an explanation for that.  They just kind of happen.  This is one of those questions for the ages such as which comes first, the chicken or the egg.  At this point, they just kind of show up.  I have to be very careful though, because sometimes I mistake them for a bad reaction to something I ate the night before.
     The idea forms and begins to travel through the bloodstream up to the brain.  It's sort of like the little submarine on "The Fantastic Voyage". Did you see that movie"  It is one of my favorites. I was about fourteen when I saw it and I still think that Raquel Welch is one of the hottest women on the face of the planet. I can't forget her in that diving suit, WOW!  I better move on before I get myself in some serious trouble. Have I ever changes since I was fourteen--Let's just leave it at that.
     The idea travels up the body passing through the heart.  The little submarine couldn't go through the heart because of the serious turbulence that the heart causes which would destroy the little sub.  The idea is OK going through the heart because it is natural, not man made like the sub.  I think I watch too many movies.
     From the heart it makes its way to the brain where it bounces around like a "super ball" in a metal room.
You can just imagine what that feels like bouncing around in of my brain. How many of you know what a "super ball" is?  If you don't know and are not old enough to know, that statement kind of lost its punch.  I thought it was funny anyway.  At any rate it hurts bouncing around the empty metal room in my brain, so it has to come out.  I just can't keep it in. Either my brain tells my mouth to blurt it out or I write it down here in the blog.
     So now you know.  I thought I would share this with you before it got into the National Enquirer. I didn't want a scandal to break out.  Besides, I'm much more important than Kim Kardashian or the aliens that just landed in my back yard.  What do they want?  I think I am going to hide now, I think they want to take me home.

Just a few of the ideas that I have written about. Raquel Welch, WOW!  I'd like to see Fantastic Voyage again.

Got to Run!

     I was going to post today, but I have got to run.  I'm not going to run actually, I just have to be there.  I hate running.  I bicycle at the gym, but that is about it. Be back with you probably tomorrow.
     By the way, I am one less daughter but have added one son to my family.  Kyle and Holly's wedding went well.  Daddy-Waddie Boo-Boo Bear has been replaced by Kyle.
     Now, I bid you adieu for today, I'm off to the races. Actually, I'm going to play golf for the first time since last month.

Here I go. Don't worry, I have my G-suit on and my clubs are in the trunk.  

 

Not The Usual Today

     My post today is going to take a bit of a different road.  As most of you know, I enjoy being the clown.  To make a person laugh is very important to me, and to see you laugh even if it is a pity laugh at how bad my joke or statement was is very rewarding to me.  My hope is that I have given you many great belly laughs as well as the subtle turned eye at some really bad humor.  You know what I mean by that. If you are in Poland and don't understand what I mean by a "subtle turned eye", that's all right too.
     Sometimes the clown is out of laughs. For me, today is just such a day.  It is sort of a "Physician, heal thyself" sort of place and I am sure that for me it will be a temporary situation.  However, I am still in a space in my life I don't care to be in. Don't worry, I will cheer myself up or will have someone hit my funny bone. Of that I am very sure of.  For today and for now, I feel depressed and down.  The clown is out of laughs.
     Circumstances have brought these feelings about. Many of you closest to me know what those circumstances are, but I don't think I need to discuss them here.  It also needs to be said that life circumstances should be dealt with and not dominate how a person reacts to life. I feel that the situation is not hopeless, and I will get through this. I am a stronger person than that. Those who know me understand my whole being sees the fun in life and grabs for all my soul can get. My travels along the road of life have taken me too far and I am in a much better place than in the past.
     Life is so very short and there is too much to see and do. It's time to celebrate successes and move on from there. By the way, what do you call...

A great place to sit and think. It's time to move on traveling the high road. 

I'm Sorry--It Just Has To Come Out (The Real Part 2)

     Yep, this is the real Part 2 to "I'm Sorry--It Just Has To Come Out".  Yesterday was just an add on to what I had said in Part One. I kind of got off task a bit talking about clocks and time and such, but as the most wise Philosopher Who Shall Remain Nameless is noted to say very frequently, "It is what it is.".  This brilliant philosopher goes by a host of other names such as She Who Is To Be Obeyed and other monikers that I shall not divulge in order to protect the innocent--namely me.
     Excuse me, I must stop and make myself a cup of coffee.  I'll be right back.
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Ok, I'm back. Let me take a sip.  That tastes great.  I grind my own French Roast Beans you know.  Just the right cream and a teaspoon full of brown sugar makes for a perfect cup of coffee. Now that is a cup of coffee.  I used to put artificial sweetener in it, but I ran out and tried brown sugar.
     I like brown sugar in my coffee much better than the artificial sweetener.  It is much more natural and it eliminates one more man made chemical going into my body. Brown sugar also doesn't leave a horrible aftertaste as does the artificial sweetener.
     Speaking of artificial sweeteners, I much prefer the pink one. It is so much sweeter than the others. It also dissolves better in my coffee.  That is another advantage of brown sugar over white granulated sugar. I know that some prefer the blue packet or the yellow packet, but that's not me. I much prefer the old standby of the pink packet.  After all, how much of that stuff did they give to those rats before they got cancer.  I heard it was half a ton for each rat. Chocolate will cause cancer if you eat enough of it. I read that somewhere in a medical journal, but I don't remember where. I think it was in a publication published by the Department of Applied Science which also stated that Mexican Food will kill you.
    I stay away from the blue packets and the yellow packets.  They say that they cause diminished brain function--enough said.

My temporary home after mentioning "She Who Is To Be Obeyed". The plumbers will be here this afternoon and the Heating and Air Conditioning  Man is coming tomorrow morning. 

   
     

I'm Sorry--It Just Has to Come Out (Part One Continued)

     This is a continuation of  Part One of I'm Sorry--It Just Has To Come Out.  That in and of itself begs for some serious consideration. So, if I took a long time between part one and this post shouldn't this be part two.  I mean after all there has been a considerable amount of time between when I posted the first part and now.
     I think that it is all a matter of perspective. What is time anyway? An hour here on Earth is a man made thing. God did not make up the hour, man did as a measure of time here on Earth.  What unit of time did the Romans use?  Did they use the hour? How about the the Gambubadizi people who live in the Amazon rain forest?  What unit of time do they use?
     What constitutes a day, and you will have to think about this. We say that a day is midnight to midnight according to our clock. In the Jewish tradition, a day is from sunset to sunset.  Who is right? That brings up another question.  As I look at the clock on my computer it says that it is 7:28 AM.  What does that really mean? Who decided that was the time and why? I'm thinking that my computer did, but who is my computer? Again, I ask you to think about that a moment. What is an hour and why do we call it that?  Who came up with the idea? Why is my computer telling me what time it is?  I haven't even looked at my cell phone, but that is another story. I don't know.
     What is a clock anyway?  Did God--we will use this term just for the sake of our discussion, I'm not being specific as to the identity of the great deity--come down from heaven and decide that we were going to use this instrument called a clock to measure what time it is? Once more, who decided that just because Mickey's big hand is on the 12 and his little hand is on the 7 that it is time to have a sip of my coffee? Wait a minute, is that after the sunrises or before the sun sets?  I don't know.
     It does make a difference you know. If it is after the sun rises, I can take a sip of my coffee.  If it is before the sun sets, I better not take a sip of my coffee otherwise I won't sleep tonight. In this case, it is after the sun rises.  I know this because I saw the sun rise as I was working out in the gym. That reminds me, I think I'll take another sip of my coffee.  By the way, is it 07:00 or is it 19:00?  Just thought I would throw that in for those of you in the military, in Europe and the rest of the world not on a 12 hour--there's that word again--clock. Again I ask, what is a clock?
     If any of this makes sense to you, I feel sorry for you. I welcome you to my world.  Where's my coffee, the sun just rose didn't it or am I going to bed soon?

Don't ask me, you figure it out. I'm going to have another sip of my coffee.  Oh, it must be morning.

The Golf Course Travel Bag: The Cindy Aoki Memorial Tournament

I'm Sorry--It Just Has to Come Out (Part One)

I'm re-posting this so that I can continue the momentum that it created.  I really didn't mean to keep you hanging but I'm so sorry that I haven't been posting.  I haven't been writing much either. Will you forgive me, I hope?

     Thank you for all your concern.  No, I'm not sick and don't need surgery. What my intentions are here is to explain something to you in the context of being different. I want you to remember that I didn't say weird, I said different. Weird, as I have stated before, is a derogatory term and I absolutely refuse to use it when discussing my sense of humor and how it manifests itself. What I do have to share with you--and notice that I didn't say explain, because I don't have to explain anything to anyone because I am who I am and am very proud of that fact although I have sort of embarrassed my wife on several occasions--is how things kind of bubble up in my brain and just have to come out.
     Where do I get my ideas? I have had to ask myself to take a look at the process at which ideas come to me and into my brain.With a great amount of inner searching and contemplation, I have come to the conclusion that the come from a region of my body just above my liver.  Why my liver, I don't know. My hope is that they don't come from my appendix because If I ever have an appendectomy, I probably wouldn't be funny again. Let's hope that isn't the case.
     More about this whole process later in future posts. Until then, please click on one of my advertiser's advertisements to check out their fine products.  I live and die by TripAdvisor so check them out.  Also, If nothing else, click on one of the Adsense Ads.  All my advertisers are fine people and are just trying to do business in America or wherever they may be. Until next time...whatever, just come back soon.

Here is another tidbit from my fertile brain...uh liver.  A salmon went into a lawyer's office fishing for a lawsuit. 

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The Golf Course Travel Bag: The Club At Crazy Horse Ranch, Salinas, Ca.

The Golf Course Travel Bag: Catalina Island Golf Course