Many Happy Returns

     'Twas the day after Christmas and all though the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. They had all gone to the mall to return their Christmas gifts for a different size or something they really wanted. I found myself in the same boat.  Unfortunately, my lump of coal had a great big crack in it which would have caused it to break into pieces. I needed to return the black piece of million year decomposed dinosaur for a new one that was not defective. Where do you return a lump of coal?
     My first thought was to try Wal Mart.  They pretty much have everything. So I got up and braved the cold California December morning--temperatures were in the low 50's--and attempted to return the defective coal. I went into the store and discovered I was not the only one to have this idea. The line for "Returns" was out the door and wound its way three times around the building.  I'm not talking about just a regular Wal Mart either.  This was a super-duper mega huge Wal Mart.  I think the line was long enough to start in Los Angeles and follow I-5 all the way down to San Diego. It was then that I decided that returning that valued lump of coal may not be the best investment of my time today.
     As I was leaving, it struck me. I thought it was a truck at the time but it actually was an idea. Why don't I get in line and then make a sign that said that I would give up my place in line for $100. Sounds like a wonderful idea, doesn't it?  I thought so.
     This had a couple of advantages. First, if someone wanted my place in line as I got closer to the front of the line, I would make some cash for just waiting in line, return the coal some other day and make $100 in the bargain. If nobody wanted my place, I could still exchange my lump of coal for a new one--at least I hoped that Wal Mart carried coal.  This was truly a win-win situation. There I was, standing in line at Wal Mart carrying a sign that said "Will Give Up My Place In Line For $100".
     I got a lot of comments about my sign, but no takers.  I had to explain many times that I was not crazy even though those of you who know me know the truth about that statement.  Many though it was a wonderful idea, but I had no takers. The line kept moving forward and I was getting closer to the front of the line.  Surely I would have a taker soon.
     That was not to be.  There were no takers. After thinking about it, I decided I knew why.  I was at Wal Mart for goodness sake and no one going to Wal Mart would ever pay full price retail.  I decided to drop the price to $29.95 and see what happened. NOTHING!
      There was good news and bad news to this. The bad news was that even at $29.95 there were no takers on my offer.  I refused to discount my pricing as I was getting close to my profit margin evaporating. The good news was that I was getting closer to the front of the line and very soon I was there. My idea had not taken flight and actually was shot down by market forces that just didn't want my product or service.  I did take heart though because as I was pondering my huge entrepreneurial failure I found my self at the front of the line.
     I felt very much uplifted when the Wal Mart associate behind the returns counter finally said, "I can help the next person in line." I was there.
     "I would like to return this lump of coal, please." I said very politely.
     "I'm sorry, but we don't carry coal sir." she said calmly.
     At that point, I decided to keep the lump of coal. It did have character with its huge crack in the middle of the lump and learning a very important lesson on my entrepreneurial skills. After all, the lump of coal
was given to me as a special Christmas gift with love from someone special. Thank you my dear wife for the very loving thought and gift.

Does Home Depot sell coal?