Roosevelt High School Shy Guy

     The other day my thoughts turned to my younger days, especially my High School years some forty more years ago. These were some of the best years of my life, but they were also some of the most painful. For me, this was a time of great learning, about myself and the world around me.  One thing I knew for sure, I was no ladies man.
     It wasn't that I wasn't unfriendly, far from that.  I could talk and joke with anyone, male or female. For me, that wasn't the problem.What I was afraid of was the social aspect of it all and a small little word, NO! That's a powerful little word which really can limit your world and the enjoyment of the wonderful world out there.  Sometimes that no was only in my mind.
     I was terribly afraid of that little no.  It also needs to be said that we are not talking about lifetime commitments to marriage and children, far from that. What I am talking about is maybe a movie, a date to the dance or possibly even a football game.  Hell, even a short conversation in the lunchroom would be nice.  There was no way that was going to happen, or so I thought. Why bother even talking to her, she is just going to say no. Fear would always cause me to strike out I guess, so why even try.
     I first met Rhonda in Mr. Doyle's seventh grade English class. A stroke of fate, call it luck I guess, saw us being educated together all through high school graduation. OK, I will just come out and say it. (I know you are reading this Rhonda, but just bear with me. Remember, this was many years ago and we have both been living very full and adventurous lives. We have matured, I think. If I offend you with this, I will apologize now.  Please remember that these were the thoughts of a young high school male.) Rhonda was, well--hot.
     When I rack my brain to find words to describe Rhonda as I saw her at the time, one word comes to mind--inaccessible, at least to me. She was "popular" and WAY out of my league. I was not.  What would this beautiful young lady want with a little worm like me. I honestly don't know what Rhonda thought of me at the time.  She probably never even noticed that I was there, but that's not the point. My perception was that I didn't even exist in her mind or that I was just, "That nice guy Dave. He's nice, but he is just a twit." None of this probably even crossed her mind, and that's not her problem.
     Rhonda wasn't the only one.  In fact, there were many more, some of which I though that I did have a chance to ask out on an actual date but never asked. Again, I'm not talking about getting married and having our kids--just a football game or an Emerson, Lake and Palmer concert.  Was that too much to ask?  Well, maybe the Emerson, Lake and Palmer concert might have been a step too far, but come on. Honestly, I'm not angry at them, I'm angry at myself.  But then I think back and remember that I really wasn't ready to date, or even talk to a girl. I was scared, scared of that little word.
     I did find love, though.  Unfortunately after thirty-three years she intentionally lost me.  But God is good and I found love again even stronger this second time around in Denise and we are very happily married.  Every now and then my mind drifts back to those high school years more than forty years ago with a certain degree of fondness. Rhonda, I wish you well and thanks

No, That's not Rhonda

.