Did Somebody Loose Something?

     Has someone misplaced somethings these past few days?  I have to say that I have found them for you.  I am such a nice guy that I am going to keep them for a while and take care of them, but I want you to come get them as soon as you can. I really don't want them.
     Take a look around you and see what is not there but was there a week ago. I don't know who you are, and I know that it has to be only one person.  Please come and reclaim your property.  I'm talking about the eight pounds that found me over the Christmas/New Year's Holiday. I went to the gym this morning and there they were, lost like little children and clinging to me. They got on the scale with me, all eight of them. I love you little guys, but go back to your owner, please. It was hard enough to return the other seventy pounds I lost to the person who lost them the last time I lost pounds that had come to live with me.
    I think it was Quincy that lost those pounds.  He looked a lot thinner this morning when I saw him at the gym. Quincy is always running and working out.  I did see what looked like a bit of extra meat on his bones last week before New Year's Day.  Today he looked much leaner. I think he gave me a New Year's gift of eight pounds. Thanks a lot, Quincy. Come and reclaim your pounds so they may return to their rightful owner and home.
     Maybe it wasn't Quincy. Whoever you are, come and get these extra pounds. I can only take care of them for a very short time.

Forbidden Fruit.  Honey, why did you buy those doughnuts?