Weeds--Not Weed

     Yesterday, I pulled weeds from the flower beds in my front yard. That's weeds, plural not weed singular. Get your minds out of the seventies.  I don't do weed, I never have--well, maybe once or twice in my younger and stupider years. In all seriousness, the flowerbeds look great. What an exciting subject to write on. Sorry folks, I thought I would take it down a peg as far as the interesting subject intensity level.
     Speaking of intensity levels, lowest on the subject intensity ladder is watching and writing about the grass growing.  Now there's an idea.  I have never written about the watching the grass grow.  I can you know. What people don't know is that there is a lot going on in growing grass. The simple action of the plant cells dividing is fascinating, not to mention the conductivity of water through the grass blade. I am not going to write, watch or talk about that today.  I'm going to talk about my non-exciting adventure pulling weeds yesterday. That is probably the second most boring subject.
     There is an art to pulling weeds. The first key thing you must do is get to the main stem of the plant that leads directly to the root.  If you don't get the root out and just break off the leafy part of the weed, the weed will come back. Not that kind of weed and will you please get your mind off cannibus for a moment.
This is 2014 not 1975 for God sake and you are not in college. Anyway, you want to get right down to the ground and pull where the weed comes out of the ground. Then what you do is pull, making sure the whole weed is out of the ground roots and all.
     Some weed, uh weeds, are stubborn and just don't want to go. I don't know, if someone were trying to forcibly end my life, I would put up a fight as well. You just can't pull them out, or they break off at their base and just don't come out. At this point you are faced with three options. The first is just let it live and cut it off at the ground line, knowing full well that it is going to grow back.  The second option is to surgically remove it digging it out with the shovel.  The second option is to just appreciate the weed's tenacity at life and let it grow.  You can always put Christmas tree lights on it and fit it in with your outdoor Christmastime house  decoration. You can celebrate its fight with you and shake one of its leaves and say, "Well Done, soldier."
     I have to admit that my sixty year old body is sore from weeding yesterday.  My hands hurt from pulling.  My shoulders hurt from yanking and my butt hurts, and I don't know why? It seems as though the muscles in my body are saying why did he do this to us? We'll show him. He will either do this some more and train us to handle this, or we will make him miserable. OK guys, I hear you.  It's back to the gym for us.
     Why do I pull weeds?  There is a simpler way, you know. It's called Round-up--weed killer spray for those of you not in The United States.

As you can see, I had a lot of weeds to pull.  I think I'll try painting the house next.